40 years of Life

I climbed the mountain, the cliffs of struggle and self doubt. I wondered when I was 10 years old if my life was going to get any better or not because I didn't know how to fix my family.

 

I climbed the mountains thinking about my words, my knowledge of being and enjoying my journey. I felt like the answers were always just a prayer away.

 

I climbed the mountain thinking of the greater good for what can I do in my time on this earth to help it or fix it. What can I learn to be the best person I can be?

I turned 10 years old thinking it's such a grown up age. That now I will be smarter and wiser for it.

I climbed the mountain thinking of all the is right and all that is wrong, and I found love not just in me for what I am but how amazing sharing my life with someone also made me strong.

I turned 20 years old thinking how wonderful all of life is in the good and the bad and I will always choose good.

I climbed a mountain in finding my own brave voice and pure freedom.

I turned 30 years old feeling like I had arrived, I had discovered the pure beauty in being alive.

I climbed a mountain in facing my past traumas, in being brave and taking ownership of my life.

I turned 40 years old knowing I am so ever grateful for the very breath I take.

I climbed a mountain and I thought it was the very top with my cane of wisdom for all I had lived through to this moment when the mountain broke away under my feet  and my cane was lost into the sea as I plunged into the very deep dark salty ocean that burns my lungs and drowns me.

I just keep swimming of course, I believe in the great good and the calling of making the earth a better place. I just keep swimming.