As I was at the dentist last month they were playing "The Never ending Story." a movie from my childhood that I really liked and was really disturbed by at the same time. The story never ends so that left me thinking to myself about what that really means. As I was getting my teeth cleaned and worked on I realized that movie was profound back then even very important for children to see in today's world.
All of life doesn't end, yet some people die early in the story.
Some people live on forever or so it would feel like at times while each new baby born today will continue on into "Prime Time." as I call it when we are the adult responsible for everything around us. I even told my husband "We ARE Prime time, right now. Those 30 to 50 years old is prime time and while I disagree that when you turn 50 you now old, the way society works however doesn't match up to me saying 70 to 100 is actually old. Although when you are 10 years old everyone is old in your eyes, it rather blows your mind to be 60 when you are 10.....and I was 10 when I watched that movie "The Never ending Story." which shares how children were not reading as much and were not given the self assurance that they were important, that they are valued at any age that they are....
This movie made more sense to me now that I am 39 years old and having to be more responsible with my time, I still color and paint, I still take an afternoon nap especially with my old dogs if I am tired. I still love fantasy and I will always love magic!
But in these years of Prime Time, I realize it's never ending the circle of life. No wonder we suffer from Mid-life crisis or deep depression. Anxiety and unanswered questions often leave us having panic attacks or restless sleep. Being in the Prime Time and worried about the "Terrible nothingness" I can see how everyone copes or adapts. Adulthood doesn't come with a owner's manual, just examples from our family of elders.....so we make our way through as best we can. I have grown less threaten by other peoples belief systems because if it does them good and helps them live as best that they can I am grateful for them. I will always carry hope with me in everything that I do or in any situation that I have to face. Like a flame of the fire in a cold dark painful world I carry that too.
It can be very exciting living in the Prime of your life, it can also be very distracting and frustrating too. There is so much to do, so much to learn and only a few decades to capture it all!
The understanding I have is that staying healthy can help along the way but just being present in the here and now is also helpful. I don't need validation that I was here in my 30's, I simply smile when I remember so that in my 80's I will know that I didn't miss out on any of part it, thanks to my imagination and peace of mind. It can be very sad, it can be very difficult to grow old but I always think about how the story never really ends after I am gone from it.
If we didn't understand death how would we even know that we are alive?
If we didn't tell our stories how does the next generation learn from our mistakes?
If we didn't learn how to be brave and how to be honest then how would we know who the real heroes are? I think about how angry I was when I was 20 and how much stronger I am arriving to 40. That in everything I have learned maybe the next 20 year old can start from the place I am at now and make the world a more magical good place.
My husband once said "I thought I would be in a much different place by the time I turned 30, this is just so disappointing." I chuckled and explained "It's best to not put an expectation on the future, It's easier to say I hope to never stop learning and adapting along the way." He rolls his eyes and snorts back "Okay Gandhi." I shrug and smile with a wink back at him, the never ending story is that we are all dealing with our own lives along the way.........
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