"Life is soooooo truly weird like this in how connected we are to our past when facing a new future." I thought to my worn out self in the day before helping my Beloved Tiffany pack and move, her ex-husband and I are still good friends so we worked together in helping her. I felt so often at times like we were all 16 years old again, I was tagging along like the 3rd wheel I had been back then. In our gossiping judging environment at the time 20 years ago, I helped them be able to spend time with each other without worries of anyone's assumption for sexual activity, as the 3 of us had long debates, deep discussions about God and what makes a good family. We were such good trio in 3 completely different personalities being reliable friends. At their wedding when I was just 18 years old I thought about how much we were still so young, they brought 4 wonderful children into this world that I got to be friends with too! Now that they are divorced I am finding myself directly in the middle like a 3rd wheel but I am also aware of how important not taking sides is for me as I still reflect back to our friendship those summer days in church camp hiking up the mountain side to have our bible study and prayer circle. Those days feel like another life time ago and in many ways they are now....yet our past is always apart of our future. I went to "Savor Idaho" at the Botanical gardens Then I saw it, that old haunted state penitentiary building before me surrounded by the fresh new June's garden growing. Ladies in sun hats and men in sun glasses the place was buzzing with human life not just honey bees! I enjoyed a lovely walk that had me thinking about how important it is for me to carry my memories side by side in a healthy way. That time is gone being 16 years old was so hard for me that I needed my friends like Tiffany and Devin, that I still want to keep those connections as their lives change into the future in bittersweet ways right now, I will always seek what is beautiful, as I sat in the garden drinking some white wine as my "down time" I realized It is BEAUTIFUL even now if that is the way I choose to look at it, The future will always be right in front of me. my friends will always be in my good memories of my past and my home will always hold such peace as I share my life with others! I wondered about the old prison behind me full of fear, full of despair even evil at the time now it sits as a backdrop landscape to the future so magical and so full of life! The garden is growing and the people are socializing over the foods and drinks of our community so I tasted everything! I met new people and sat with old friends thinking there are still great things to learn and good things to do that makes me smile in wonder over it all!