It's started out fast and fun this month of June, I have been looking forward to hanging out with my friend's kids, all 4 of them have been such a delight in knowing and hanging out with all these years, now as their parents have divorced I think it's even more important to simply chill out with them, enjoying all the little things in life especially in this beautiful summer month! When their parents were dating I was the 3rd wheel tagging along with them everywhere as back in those days our church held high standards and quick judgement if any 2 "Love birds" were ever alone, being 16 I was very annoyed by all the gossip my Beloved Friend got for having her boyfriend with us all the time. I am hoping now as they go their separate ways that I can remain friends with both of them, this takes a clear step of awareness in not choosing "sides" and never jump to sudden judgement on either parent. Their kids have always been delightful in my life, they are all important to me as I can truly just love on.....It's going to be a fun summer as we hang out and as I know what is important to me, to high five and cheer on the kids when we play tennis, to hold up the youngest while swimming and to talk about anything and everything the world around us gives!
When I said "No." they look at me in surprise then quickly obey as I never use such word unless confident in the situation, I never boss or try to control them yet everything we negotiate on takes time and agreement before we move forward in our day. I have noticed that I ask from them clear direction in taking care of their things and their chores, when their parent arrives back on the scene I no longer have to the responsibility to say "No." or "Did you pick up your trash?" this ability to just enjoy my life with or without the kids helps me not overstep my boundaries as the "babysitter" or as the "family friend" I enjoy being both and knowing when the roles change. I often wish I had this system down back when I was 14 years old raising my baby brothers, if I could of setup healthy good boundaries for myself back then I wouldn't of been so easily manipulated by my parents to be their "built in babysitter" and to struggle physiologically with feeling like a Mother when I really wasn't......It was a random radio program that had me sobbing by the end because the reporter said "Older siblings have no rights at all to care or concern of their younger siblings, even though the older sibling loves those younger siblings like a parent maybe even being old enough to actually BE their parent but it doesn't stand up in court or in any part of the law. It is one of the most helpless positions to be in as a family fighting for a better future."
I looked at the kids yesterday laughing, talking and swimming thinking over how adaptable they are to their new surroundings, how resilient and how easily made happy they are! We could all learn from them when we grieve over the past or struggle in fear facing the future......Loving right where we are in the moment of just right now is one of the best qualities in most children! I am grateful to be their friend, to be their parents friend from both sides in the flip of a coin! Life is ever changing, challenging and crazy but it is the stillness of the summer sky and the arms held out to the such a magical earth that we can live on for awhile which makes me simply smile and say "I'm jumping in!"
to the squeals and laughter of the kids,
FOR It's now simply HAPPY summer time!
When I said "No." they look at me in surprise then quickly obey as I never use such word unless confident in the situation, I never boss or try to control them yet everything we negotiate on takes time and agreement before we move forward in our day. I have noticed that I ask from them clear direction in taking care of their things and their chores, when their parent arrives back on the scene I no longer have to the responsibility to say "No." or "Did you pick up your trash?" this ability to just enjoy my life with or without the kids helps me not overstep my boundaries as the "babysitter" or as the "family friend" I enjoy being both and knowing when the roles change. I often wish I had this system down back when I was 14 years old raising my baby brothers, if I could of setup healthy good boundaries for myself back then I wouldn't of been so easily manipulated by my parents to be their "built in babysitter" and to struggle physiologically with feeling like a Mother when I really wasn't......It was a random radio program that had me sobbing by the end because the reporter said "Older siblings have no rights at all to care or concern of their younger siblings, even though the older sibling loves those younger siblings like a parent maybe even being old enough to actually BE their parent but it doesn't stand up in court or in any part of the law. It is one of the most helpless positions to be in as a family fighting for a better future."
I looked at the kids yesterday laughing, talking and swimming thinking over how adaptable they are to their new surroundings, how resilient and how easily made happy they are! We could all learn from them when we grieve over the past or struggle in fear facing the future......Loving right where we are in the moment of just right now is one of the best qualities in most children! I am grateful to be their friend, to be their parents friend from both sides in the flip of a coin! Life is ever changing, challenging and crazy but it is the stillness of the summer sky and the arms held out to the such a magical earth that we can live on for awhile which makes me simply smile and say "I'm jumping in!"
to the squeals and laughter of the kids,
FOR It's now simply HAPPY summer time!
No comments:
Post a Comment