October's Beauty

      

There is something always so beautiful about this pumpkin season the taste, the smell, the bright orange colors  and in October with Halloween just around the corner these pumpkins pop out everywhere! It is my love for pumpkins that make the best decor in my gardens and fading colors of landscape to a cozy fairytale like world of pumpkin soup and bread, of pumpkin ice cream and coffees. I love seeing so many different shapes and sizes in the world coming alive in bright colors and lit candles all in the celebration for the approaching holiday season! October's beauty starts first from that delightful pumpkin every time :-)

These Times are a changing

       

 Whenever the seasons change so does our focus on things in our lives, I have noticed over the last few years a big change in the way we take pictures of our lives as well.
It is almost impossible to find someone without an Iphone, or Ipad that snap a great looking picture within seconds of setting the moment up. I have noticed how no one hold the camera part of these gadgets up to their face anymore. The way we snap pictures nowadays is so fast and so instant the camera doesn't need to be held very steadily anymore either! There will always be a sort of form in art to how we take pictures that this fast and easy way seems so rather lost in it's classic style to me. I know how fast everything changes in the technology world, I don't even pretend to stay up on it all. I simply take pictures the "OLD school" way with my hands out and my body very very still. No doubt even the way everyone takes pictures, share "selfies" and hold the camera away from their faces right now could change once again before another 10 years have come and gone.....so whatever happens is the future of progress, I get that BUT I still like classic things. My camera isn't my phone, I prefer a separate world for each of my gadgets that should last forever in my opinion.....My shadow could very well change with time but how I capture it won't. I enjoy my life in all these simple organized ways as people ask "Did you see on Facebook...?" I reply back with a "No, I haven't been on my computer yet today." They pause with FB shinning from their phones and I chuckle to myself all the more........

These times they are a changing so quickly! AND I enjoy trying to keep it all simple for as long as I can, for as long as I live!

My Life series

         When I look back over my life, I realize just how lucky I was to have my mother's parents in my life every day as I grew up, They gave me a different perspective on the world around me from what I was being told from my parents. Whenever I needed to get away from my hormonal mother, or casually hide from my angered father in order to stay out of his way of yelling, I escaped into my grandparents house just a walk up the hill from my own home. I learned over time how my open honesty about my dysfunctional parents was best kept to myself because Grandma would flip out at her daughter for letting me feel so afraid in our home, then my mother would turn on me saying "NO ONE can know what happens in this home or you will be grounded from ever going back up the hill to see your grandparents...they don't need to know anything that happens in here." I was terrified that at any moment my grandparents would be forbidden from me because I told them to much about how I saw my parents relationship or how the dramas in my home were making me hide in their home instead. When they sent me home in the evenings I would beg to stay with them instead, sometimes I would cry not sure what to do next because the fighting and screaming in my home was out of control. This is when Grandma sense something hidden and guarded in me so she would pray with me. This was my saving grace as young 12 year old girl by the time I was 13 clinging to God was the ONLY way I knew how to coop. In honor of my Grandma Norma who worried about me daily explaining to me how a good church and a good friend was so important in living a good life. I look back in awe that I had her in my life right when I was so desperately lonely and insecure. From 11 years old to 14 years old my parents had a huge battle with each other that I couldn't talk about it with anyone except God. (I am so grateful I had this idea of a listening good God especially from my Grandma's child like faith.) Those were scary years as my mother wanted more babies and my father didn't, as my sister challenged every single rule and as my desire to see the world out there felt so trapped. Being in my Grandparents home was my "hiding place" I was always very safe there! Grandpa was the kind of guy who read his bible every morning but never preached loud and bossy in my face so I liked his simple calmness, finding him to sit next to while not saying anything was good for my mind to relax again. He saw the need for animals to be fed and given water, to be trusting and confident for all the animals to belong and be cared for! I took from him the knowledge and skills to see the world like he does, I took from my Grandma how to dress classy with good table manners in eating out downtown or in how to shop in style. (My mother still lives for those days of shopping all day with her Mother and sisters memories, she says they were the best days of her life) I am ever so thankful to of had such good grandparents in my childhood when I so desperately needed help, I can see now how if they hadn't been there for me I wouldn't be who I am today! I owe them so much for every beautiful breath and in every single second that I live this great  peaceful life of nature's beauty and respect towards a good image of God for my heart and soul. My life series starts first with me running up the hillside to the big farm house as Grandma canned cherries and Grandpa set out a dish of milk for the stray cat. I miss them so much and I am in awe that they lived a life style that I now have created for myself too!

Watching the world!

     

It has been the warmest fall I can really remember! The trees are all changing but that sunshine is still blazing warm in the middle of the day. I love it of course! 
There's so many projects I have completed because the summer warmth is lasting so long and I enjoy still adding potting soil to pots to plant my mums next to my pumpkins while still watering and finishing the edges around my garden. Freshly laid mulch and compost mixed together lays over everything that is done growing. I am still pulling weeds in my big rock garden that the cats love to sun nap and lay on in hidden spots. When I take my time to get my list done I feel so good and like to sit back to watch the world! 
My home is a beautiful space that will keep me on my toes until the last leaf falls into place! (Yes I have places for these soon to arrive leaves as free mulch and nature's best pathways.) Every evening I have been throwing the Frisbee for my dog, Oscar. We watch the world change all around from night to night as it gets dark far to fast and as I cuddle with ALL my pets just before bed I think of how wonderful this particular fall has been.

 
It has been so sunny and so clear out there in the valley that I have been taking my own walks through the park, the downtown sidewalks for miles and even love hiking up in the foothills. Being on my own gives me such a peaceful ponder of this life time that I get to share in all these great beauties around me!
The harvest season is also the giving of thanks for all we can share with each other and I am truly deeply grateful to take time out from my project focus to simply be out in the world! Reading a book on the bright patio of a coffee shop or walking with a cup of coffee to the river side I have been doing it all in the last couple of weeks because of this great good warm weather.

My heart hasn't felt this way in a long time simply just peaceful and joyful to stop and be, I still have Benny's phone number in my phone that in moments alone I would love to reach out to her, life goes on in the most bittersweet ways as I recently made a new friend I completely adore and how rich the old friends have become in helping me go through my grief! 

Life is a circle, I'm coming back around to paying attention to it more for all the connections I have and all the souls I get to hug close to my heart in this magical life all the more. When I get to the top of the hill overlooking  my beautiful Boise I start singing in my head "I'm on top of the world, yeah!" Then I simply stand still and watch as it lays out before me........

Watching a series

Whenever I watch a series I noticed that unlike watching a movie these shows allow you to really get to know all the characters of  the story.
It is a weekly event to watch a new episode and see how deeper the plot thickens, some series are so well written that you wish they had more then one or two seasons. Then there's the other side of drawing out these dramas until the show finally ends with you shaking your head at how poorly written it all became.
When your friends and family watch the same series that you do then sharing in the excitement of reacting to the show becomes part of your instant connection to them. The fact that you may not know them so well or have a lot in common the series that they also watch brings new topics and discussions to the socializing moment. 
Life moves on into real time in much the same way as with watching a series, taking yourself along it's story pathway where you get to know all the characters better in your life day to day or year to year the situations changed. You are the main character with many different possibilities in your choices to live your own life.  We watch shows to escape this world only to see ourselves captured on screen in a way we can relate and react. I have a style entirely all my own in what series I like getting into and what stories I am more interested in then others. Much like in my own life I choose to enjoy who I am not who everyone else might think I should be, I look at living life's great adventures are easier to do when I know and understand who I am first. Kicking back on a cold rainy night with a glass of red wine and a couple new episodes to watch makes me so grateful for the calmness I choose in my shows and in my home.

Historical series

When the theme song came on the TV as a kid I would race out of my room to sit on the floor to capture this delightful show! It was my most favorite of all shows back then and mostly because of that smooth filming in times gone past.
Now as I watch it again I'm filled with that same kind of peaceful awe, I loved animals as a kid impart from this drama series, the fact that dogs came and went in the house was delightful to me and now as an adult I move around with 3 dogs under foot talking to them in the very same way as Sigfried!
I can't express enough how much I love my life more now as an adult then ever I did as a kid! But it was when I was growing up when I paid close attention to my parents and to the TV shows we watched that makes me who I am today. My father liked this show as well but he never had that concern for animals. I understand now that He could barely like himself much less like bring home dogs and cats to feed. His kids kept him worrying about food and bills while his wife would say "We need a bigger house." My mother would always look at my concern for animals as if I didn't get it, as if I had unhealthy emotional imbalanced explaining to me "Don't worry about it, God is in control of all things even these sickly kittens....if they die that was God's will so don't cry so much." I grew up feeling my mother just thought God was an invisible grounds keeper.  This show gave me such delight back in those days of my past, watching again now in my life I am flooded with "flashbacks" memories with my parents.  To this day they are not good to their pets, now they aren't torturing them but they are still thinking God can feed the animals they have better things to do, so very sad really. 

The classic vet like James Harriet is a dying career out there in a world of greed and humans first mentality. 
"All Creatures Great and Small" played on PBS (Public Broadcasting System) giving us a glimpse of how life used to be or could be again living in harmony next to the farmland and all the living souls on it. Yes some animals can feed and care for themselves just fine but there are some where humans hands can save their life in what would of been a sure death. Life and death go hand in hand next to the cycling of the world but helping each other to stay here a bit longer together is a warm hopeful feeling full of love and joy, the separation that comes from death makes us cherish when we had lived all the more, maybe because my parents are so different from me while we watched this show taking away from it a different message makes me on high alert to doing good for the creatures that need my help.....my husband constantly reminds me that I can't save them all, maybe he is worried one night he will got bed not ever finding it under tons of furry snoring dogs! I'm very aware of how I can't care for every unwanted dog or cat but I will never stop trying, I will never give up trying to better the lives of anyone who finds my front door.  They probably will hear the lovely calming music of "All Creatures Great and Small" playing from my TV as I set out plates of food thinking to myself  "At least feed them....everything else will work out better with a full tummy for them."   
Understanding basic health gives me a sense of being able to help heal and care all the better. And watching this show makes me so happy in my everyday life <3

Surviving series

Now that October has arrived, I am recapping through all the seasons of "The Walking Dead" back when those first episodes aired in October 2010.

It is my most favorite drama series because it is about surviving in zombie apocalypse.I love thrilling movies of excitement heading towards Halloween. Being startled or aware of how to handle safe levels in fear makes me feel strong as a person even though I know in real life such fearful events would be traumatizing! Like after a scary accident or death in the family there is what I call "Down time" for the surviving souls this is not talked about in a surviving series such as "The Walking Dead" where everyone is always on the move or running to the next new place but I have experienced for myself where I go in "hiding" from everything a long while, in order to process and face this time of change in the best ways I know how.
 My excitement over watching "The Walking Dead" is how I can understand that same survival mind in all of us. It is the kind of show with many different personalities, although as I have watched some of the episodes I wonder why they don't have someone on guard at ALL times!?!  I also like thinking about how to grow a garden in the prison safety, or how to catch rain water for showering and learning how to manage that constant fear of being eaten by zombies makes me come back to the show every new season with my own personal "pep talk" that yes I can keep following this scaryass storyline. It is interesting to wonder what would we do under such a world shift in existing like that? 
There are a few episodes I will never watch again because of how emotionally powerful and over whelming they were!....yet that is what makes for a good story line in capturing our interest. 
I think that when we know a few survival skills or understand what is important in a time of such chaos and crisis like that then we find a bit of comfort even though a show such as "The Walking Dead" proves how we can not control or save the world after all, we can however at the very least stay sharp and smart being ready for however it will all end.....I enjoy watching such surviving series for all the tips and experiences that I hope to never actually live through in real time!