Wiped out!

I can't really write much right now as I am truly wiped out! Our new place is lovely and cozy, I have unpacked every box and even cooked dinner tonight! The dogs are so fun to watch as they hang out in the big backyard, I just planted some white petunias under the pear tree in the center of the yard this evening.....to say that I am busy isn't the right word for I am amazed at all I have accomplished in only 3 days! I hope to keep this excitement and energy going ALL summer as we enjoy this calm private place for the next year. BOY! I am beat and I almost forgot to post tonight THAT is how tired I am I guess.......(Oh yeah and I still think moving is fun, it's a fun kind of organizing) Now tonight I stand back to look at my new home with my hubby reading as the pets finally nap:-) Have a peaceful summer night everyone!

Why that Snap Shot?

I find studies of the human mind not only fascinating but very educational. 
I use to always say to myself even as young as 5 years old, "I want to remember this forever, or  I never want to forget this."  I realize now that by thinking that at the time it allowed me to remember most everything of my life. I remember the bad dramatic moments just as good as all the happy moments, so what I want to know is why do some of us have such details in memories and others don't?  And why is memory actually so important? Sometimes I think my memory will drive me crazy and other times I think I am glad I can always remember.....On one of my favorite radio programs "Talk of the Nation" They discussed this topic of the human mind and how we form our memories. Did I already mention I LOVE these kind of topics?  I also believe that our imaginations are vital to our relationships with each other, because if we are not able to imagine how the other person feels or thinks then we can not be very good in connecting with them. In all reality our human brain with all it's sections and memory helps us survive and live better with each other. In allowing us to learn and importantly to remember as we can choose to better our future! I am amazed by such a thing like our brains! I will take the bad with the good and try to stay connected with how it all works.....Because it is very important to learn something NEW every single day and feed our impressive feature...the human computer in our head!

 Here listen to the same radio program that inspired this topic;
http://www.npr.org/2011/06/07/137036454/most-childhood-memories-vanish-but-why 

It's Moving Day!!!

Because moving days are busy and stressful, I am not spending my usual time on my blog. Although, I LOVE my mid-morning writing time, I will be BUSY today and soon I shall be writing from the cozy patio chair in my big backyard while my dogs Oscar and Sidney lay in the shade.....It will ALL be worth it soon to have our own place with NO ONE living above us or next to us! I feel like it is all such a dream, like this waiting around has finally come to an end! It is rather weird to have all these boxes with everything we own ready to move...I thought I had gotten rid of tons of stuff:-) Hahahaha I know THIS is going to be a FUN DAY! Here we go!!

My First Apartment

Moving for the 3rd time in my life was an epic moment, I wanted my own apartment for such a long time that when it finally worked out, I had 3 months of waiting and telling my parents that I was moving out. They fought me the whole way, some nights it was 1 or 2 in the morning with us arguing about this issue. I was 22 years old, but not at all sure of what I was made of or how I could handle my rule focused parents as they did not want me to move.  Looking back I am glad I had the "Balls" to finally move away, it was extremely hard at first, I had a thousand questions on how to survive in the real world, though it was 6 months before my parents spoke to me again. Although I wasn't deliberately trying to get them out of my life, I just knew that we needed some healthy space from each other as I needed to grow on my own.  Now I was clueless to most everyday things like rules and responsibilities. But it all left a big impact on my life as I faced it alone, determined to live in my very own place. I fell flat on my face many times, I was overcome by such deep fears once in awhile at night all alone. In truth I was never completely alone, I had many friends and even a thoughtful boyfriend, whose own father took me under his wing for advice and safety. I had to fight battles with my parents in hopes they saw things from my point of view only to have them cut me off for awhile. I have heard it said that to a child that the greatest fear is being disowned by their parents or not loved. I smile to myself when I heard this, saying out loud because I personally lived it "It is just fear, you don't lay down and die like you think you might...when your parents want nothing to do with you the bigger questions comes out and take over that kind of hurt. Asking of you to love not hate and always be very very brave!!! Because most importantly what I learned while living in my first new place, as I walked alone in the quietness of those empty walls, was how NO MAN is an ISLAND, we should always be there for each other no matter our faith and all the rules we may set up for ourselves.......Being alive and being there for another human is the greatest gift to give while we are still breathing!

My Tiny Trailer

It was in the summer of 1989 when I was 10 years old and we moved for the second time in my life. The first time I was 3 years old missing my sand box so much! Then this summer brought our adventures camping out on the orchard farms of our grandparents. I remember when Mom took us back to the trailer house to get our final things, I stood in my old bedroom that was bigger in my memory as I suddenly felt like a giant! I said out loud "WHAT HAPPENED?!?" Mom looked alarmed at me as She asked "What do you mean?" I explained with a confused frown, "This whole place has shrunk!" I said with my arms out touching both sides of my bedroom walls for the first time. Mom giggled realizing what I was talking about, "OoooH I thought something was broken or ruined, Debby Dear YOU grew quite a bit this summer. So naturally this place would seem smaller to you." I walked around bewildered at my old bedroom that my sister and I shared, I felt like a freak! How did I get so big in only a summer season? I wondered to myself. I walked around commenting on this or that had changed, Mom chuckled back over her shoulder as we hauled boxes to the car "That is why we are moving, imagine when y'all are teenagers this whole place would be VERY crowded." I stood for a moment longer looking at my empty old bedroom in awe that it was the tiniest room I had ever seen! I had thought it would be sad to say "Goodbye" to this home of my first 10 years. I realized that moving on is symbolic to change, I could clearly see how I had changed, for I had left this bedroom with everything big and familiar only to return not wanting stay. Now I realized I did not want to be so crowded....saying goodbye was very easy to me after all! Because I was saying "hello" to the new farm life and wide open spaces.....something our tiny trailer couldn't compete with anymore.

My Sand Box

I remember it was a bright sunny morning as I stood in the front door of the trailer house. I always watched my bare feet because the melt doorway could burn the bottom if I step on it. Sometimes I lost my balance and my little hand would get burnt by the hot melt. I was watching my Grandpa Ansil Graber shovel out dirt for my new sand box. He was the tallest man I had ever seen as he smiled down at me, I noticed my father and Papa Rudy Klein bring bags of sand to the spot where these men worked. I remember being really happy by the colorful buckets and shovels, soon my sand box would be built and I would get to play in the cool soft sand! I remember all the excited when it was finished, when my Dad tossed me up into the air! I had my very own play ground and I remember all the hours I build sandy mountains and used my imagination to tell a story as I played, I usually took off my diaper because the sand would get stuck in there as I played. How funny that I can remember ALL of this......Maybe that is why I loved that sand box so much because both my Grandfathers and Dad made it for me, When I was 3 years old we moved away from St. Maries Idaho where this sand box stayed behind and I cried! I was truly upset when I realized We would never be back to that lot again. My Parents were busy and told me to "Dry it UP" but then when my Dad finally asked me why I was sobbing so much I pointed back at my sand box saying "I want my sand box to come with us!" Then I cried so hard, it was traumatic for me, suddenly I realized we were moving for the very first time in my memory and life.
Was it the sand box or the fact I could remember when it was built? Was it my comfort zone when I played there everyday or was it that I didn't want to loose my security of the familiar?  I use to think that sand box was the ONLY thing I ever had that was my very own. My siblings were babies or being born when I was given a gift that only I truly understood was my own. Because after that sand box I had to share everything else the rest of my life. I wonder if having that sand box was when my memory took shape and I knew I NEVER wanted to forget my sand box days?


Daddy held me in his arms as we looked across the valley to where our trailer home was being pulled out from it's lot by a white semi truck. He pointed from our packed car in his parents driveway saying "Look Debby there goes our home!" I burst out crying again as I said "MY sandbox!" He chuckled as he patted my back "I will make you a even bigger sand box in our new place okay?" As we said our goodbyes to Grandma and Grandpa I thought it was amazing that they were crying too! It was nice to know that everyone loved my sand box too:-)

Moving

I can not move fast enough! When neighbors upstairs stomp around or yell at each other I tell myself the number of days left in this tiny place! How funny to have lived here 7 years without all the noise we have now from upstairs! Our first neighbor up there was a single woman, who was hoarding. She bought something every single day for 6 years! I always noticed this about her then she suddenly moved when her water pipe broke and leaked into our bathroom. The repair men and I could NOT get into her place because of the millions of things she hoarded! It was the most amazing thing I have EVER seen, from floor to ceiling her STUFF was stacked and thick there was NO moving anything to get in to her home! I lived downstairs in the same floor plan with wide open rooms...I found it all amazing AND it was why we Never ever heard her walking around at all! Maybe it is good she was a hoarder? We hardly had any problems with noisy neighbors until she moved out....IRONIC! The noise increased once she moved out, First starting with the remolding projects of laying carpet at 1am in the morning this past spring, it was so loud that it woke up the entire building! (Our dog Oscar is STILL terrified by that ever happening again) I guess they had some kind of jack hammer going off at 1am, it was all truly insane! Then there was a wild little crazy dog that barked endlessly all the time. We have lived here for the last 7 years and lately everything seems truly noisy! I thought I would miss this place but in 3 days I know I will walk away from it all very happy to start our new life in a normal small house with a bit more privacy! I have boxes ready and everything organized.....imagine ME super organized hahahahaha IT ALL BEGINS this weekend! 
WE MOVE....YIPPY!!!!