I would set myself right down beside him in order to chat and to catch up.
I think about all those little moments, the simplest of things like that....back when....when I never thought it would ever be so different down the road of life.
For in our 20's so many things happened, that as Mom brought us all together for one of the little boys's birthdays we came in with new stories, and new gifts.
Our family had 2 generations in one, I was 20 years old when the baby of the family was born and Derek was a few months away from being 17. Our sister Dana had already moved out of the house so we worked together to help our parents adjust once again to a new baby. They had 3 boys under the age of 5 years old as adulthood arrived for me then for Derek as everything changed with Grandparents dying and I learning to live in my own place. Coming back home for the birthday dinners our mother would put together gave us all such good memories in the end.
Once Derek got upset at our mother for saying it was alright that the oldest little brother didn't spell correctly after all. I admired Derek for sharing how hard it is in the real world to get a job if you can't spell right the first time. Having been home schooled we all suffered greatly in poor education as it was first up to our mother to teach us but then she would get tired or distracted and even very annoyed at us for not just knowing what she already did. It took a real effort to teach our own selves as we grew older, as we realized it was up to us to know how to read and write for our parents were very distracted by their own lives and their own worries.
When all the babies were born we became truly on our own as teens and we knew that knowing the right way to spell and to behave in public was very very important. I loved and admired Derek for trying to help the next generation learn easier and have a better time growing up.
While our mother was always flustered and always trying to keep her baby boys by her side. Our visits, our coming back home to see everyone was in bringing the outside world to a very sheltered and safe place.
If I hadn't had Derek there, if I hadn't been so impressed by his wisdom in wanting to help our parents do better the second time around raising these little kids, then I would of been very discouraged. I would of felt so helpless and so frustrated all the time I think.....
Instead I was so happy that Derek spoke bravely for proper education.
All 6 of us are now self-taught people, shortly after our mother's stroke everyone asked me who would continue the boys's education and without freaking out I smiled proudly explaining "Derek will. He and I have talked about this and we agree that our brothers will not suffer the lack of schooling, our parents are once again very distracted so I am not worried as long as Derek is watching over them. He is the chosen one! I am so grateful!"
It's hard to handle a life crisis all alone, it's even harder when our parents become the helpless ones in the family.
I am ever so grateful that Derek was there through all of that, especially when I wasn't always welcomed to come around, so with a quick phone call Derek would keep me informed on how Mom was recovering or how smart our baby brothers were in learning all that he was teaching them. I loved those moments of him catching me up on what I had missed.
Not a single day will ever go by that I won't forget his kindness in staying connected and updated back then almost 7 years ago.....
I never had to worry when Derek was there.
He walked over with cups of water and sat down beside me making a joke, sharing a smile and a nod towards our mother as we drank away the heat of the afternoon, For we were at his friend's wedding and I was there as the lady in waiting over our mother in her wheel chair, He was able to help me get her moved around for the ceremony and the reception. I would be taking care of Mom and making sure her go home safely. He would be enjoying the party for the rest of the day having been able to sit a moment with us. I loved that whole day, so beautiful and so happy! He sat right beside me for a rest bit saying "This was very nice of you to bring Mom, I know she really wanted to come the moment she got the invite and I knew that I couldn't do it. So this means a lot." He nodded and I burst out "I am happy to do it! I get to see a beautiful wedding and sit outside in the sunshine, so it's perfect really.....although I realize we are not kids anymore look at my gray hair around my ears and you have a sliver back thing going on when the light hits it, when Mom first saw ya I didn't think it was you! I guess this is what our 30's look like now!" I chuckled as he nodded while getting up to kiss Mom goodbye he sent us on our way.
I often remember that day, the natural way we worked together to get our mom moved around and to see old friends. To sit beside each other, to be simply grateful for a festive fun day!
Our family had 2 generations in one, I was 20 years old when the baby of the family was born and Derek was a few months away from being 17. Our sister Dana had already moved out of the house so we worked together to help our parents adjust once again to a new baby. They had 3 boys under the age of 5 years old as adulthood arrived for me then for Derek as everything changed with Grandparents dying and I learning to live in my own place. Coming back home for the birthday dinners our mother would put together gave us all such good memories in the end.
Once Derek got upset at our mother for saying it was alright that the oldest little brother didn't spell correctly after all. I admired Derek for sharing how hard it is in the real world to get a job if you can't spell right the first time. Having been home schooled we all suffered greatly in poor education as it was first up to our mother to teach us but then she would get tired or distracted and even very annoyed at us for not just knowing what she already did. It took a real effort to teach our own selves as we grew older, as we realized it was up to us to know how to read and write for our parents were very distracted by their own lives and their own worries.
When all the babies were born we became truly on our own as teens and we knew that knowing the right way to spell and to behave in public was very very important. I loved and admired Derek for trying to help the next generation learn easier and have a better time growing up.
While our mother was always flustered and always trying to keep her baby boys by her side. Our visits, our coming back home to see everyone was in bringing the outside world to a very sheltered and safe place.
If I hadn't had Derek there, if I hadn't been so impressed by his wisdom in wanting to help our parents do better the second time around raising these little kids, then I would of been very discouraged. I would of felt so helpless and so frustrated all the time I think.....
Instead I was so happy that Derek spoke bravely for proper education.
All 6 of us are now self-taught people, shortly after our mother's stroke everyone asked me who would continue the boys's education and without freaking out I smiled proudly explaining "Derek will. He and I have talked about this and we agree that our brothers will not suffer the lack of schooling, our parents are once again very distracted so I am not worried as long as Derek is watching over them. He is the chosen one! I am so grateful!"
It's hard to handle a life crisis all alone, it's even harder when our parents become the helpless ones in the family.
I am ever so grateful that Derek was there through all of that, especially when I wasn't always welcomed to come around, so with a quick phone call Derek would keep me informed on how Mom was recovering or how smart our baby brothers were in learning all that he was teaching them. I loved those moments of him catching me up on what I had missed.
Not a single day will ever go by that I won't forget his kindness in staying connected and updated back then almost 7 years ago.....
I never had to worry when Derek was there.
He walked over with cups of water and sat down beside me making a joke, sharing a smile and a nod towards our mother as we drank away the heat of the afternoon, For we were at his friend's wedding and I was there as the lady in waiting over our mother in her wheel chair, He was able to help me get her moved around for the ceremony and the reception. I would be taking care of Mom and making sure her go home safely. He would be enjoying the party for the rest of the day having been able to sit a moment with us. I loved that whole day, so beautiful and so happy! He sat right beside me for a rest bit saying "This was very nice of you to bring Mom, I know she really wanted to come the moment she got the invite and I knew that I couldn't do it. So this means a lot." He nodded and I burst out "I am happy to do it! I get to see a beautiful wedding and sit outside in the sunshine, so it's perfect really.....although I realize we are not kids anymore look at my gray hair around my ears and you have a sliver back thing going on when the light hits it, when Mom first saw ya I didn't think it was you! I guess this is what our 30's look like now!" I chuckled as he nodded while getting up to kiss Mom goodbye he sent us on our way.
I often remember that day, the natural way we worked together to get our mom moved around and to see old friends. To sit beside each other, to be simply grateful for a festive fun day!
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