Hurting/healing

                                                       
   It was so beautiful, it was sweet to see a packed out church. To have all my extended family be there, to have us siblings sit together surrounding our parents and starting the memorial service off with "I'll Fly Away." which made me smile remembering how Derek and I sang that song while hiking around church camp in August every summer growing up together.

We had our own groups of friends, at church or at camp we met up in big groups or in our cabin where Mom was reading books on her bed. Derek and I would pass each other in the Chapel or dinning hall since we lived together we spend our time away from each other in our groups of friends. I liked how coming together in our friend groups or at church made us happy to see each other again.

Derek's funeral was at our old church, the one we grew up in and still attended after our parents left it. We were young adults and college kids in that church too. I saw him there as I walked through a building I knew like the back of my hand! I saw memories I took for granted, I saw and hear him call my name as if I were 16 years old again and I remember how he pushed through the doors talking to me at the same time, out into the sun light on to the soccer field, the volleyball game in action or the evening softball games. He loved all the sports with his friends at that church as we grew up, he was always involved with getting the groups out doing something I would always ask him if my girlfriends and I could join in later on too and he would take charge with everyone in getting us into playing with them too.

I even graduated from high school in that church when I was 17 years old. (21 years ago) So having the funeral in such an important place was truly wonderful for such a sad day.

We celebrated Derek's life in the most beautiful ceremony I have ever seen! It started off with a round of applause to the life Derek lived! I didn't want to stop clapping and I sure didn't want to see the service end as it was beautiful from start to finish.

I still can't believe this has happened! I still can't see my life in the future without him, He was always there in past, he was always living life fully and excitedly with arms wide open to greet the people who surrounded him and to wisely reflect on the important issues in our society. He was generous and he was genuine too.

I will always miss my brother Derek. His funeral was so powerfully perfect that I will always remember it in awe and in tears!