It has been a crazy week, I worked so hard on voting day and I noticed my boss is much older now. She had heart surgery a few months ago and now I am seeing time doesn't stand still even when everything is set up perfectly.....
A new President, a new set of 4 more years and a New winter season heading straight for us......I am left exhausted, emotionally triggered by the tiniest thing.
It's good to be reflective and to take account of one's life and all stages, all the lessons in that life.
The exterior world like politics or religion have never distracted me from my magical homemaking and creation of family.....Yet this week it was been so intense and even made it's way from just being a job to being a big part of me....I was taken by surprise and caught off guard by how wiped out I am!
(I really don't think I could ever do it again, work on election day, trying to get everyone through the voting system in that organized chaos.)
The new guys I was training would say "There has to be a better way in doing this!?!" and I would smile in my training steps for them adding "Yes I have always thought so too.....give it a few more years and all of this will be gone, one click of your phone and you voted, well maybe for the rest of the world, but Idaho is slow in changing or upgrading to anything new, chances are we will be the last state to upgrade our voting system."
The moments of conflict that I found myself in was a surprise because I am not the boss, yet she needed me to handle things for her.
Our greeter at the door was a very outgoing nice man who asked me "How many years have you been working on voting day? the reason I ask is that you seem to know your stuff." I smiled and chuckled back answering "Since 2010...so for 6 years now, and in 2012 it was insane the line never went down and I never had time to grab a bite to eat! So this is a calmer year for a presidential election, I'm glad it's not so bad." He added "Well, It's still early in the day, I bet tonight will be packed out." Sure enough, he was right as the evening had me stamping hundreds of new registration cards.
The next morning I felt like I had been hit by a truck, with a sore throat and slow moving strength, I would burst into tears for what felt like no real reason...."What is wrong with me? I've never cared so deeply about whose president before? I mean I care but I also know I am not in charge of this system? So why am I crying? What am I afraid of? Why does it all feel so crazy out in the world when it's just a another day??? And why can't I get things done around my home again?" I was left to realize this is just the aftermath of everything for the last few months of being so super busy. I was exhausted and I am not use to that feeling, I always have tons of energy, a very sharp aware mind and a happy attitude...usually...this was a crazy stressful week indeed!
I'm rather wiped out, I'm rather surprised by all the crazy reactions from people in this aftermath of the election.
So in this aftermath I am realizing I need to choose the good life in my good home, and let the good people find me there baking up coconut cake and steaming ginger tea!
With blankets of all colors on my couch each dog and cat find their place for peace and warmth, where smell of cooking fills our home and the music plays, we all need good rest.
My husband looked worriedly at me as I cried over my coffee cup while waking up this morning, He sweetly warned me "You need to stay home today and not worry so much, just take care of yourself right now."
The aftermath of such a long week has me dazed and worn out, I'm walking through nature with a slow moving mind seeing such rich colors of fall, thinking to myself how time looks so familiar year after year and season after season that it's hard to realize eventually it all runs out on us! (of course then I start cry again in thinking about such things)
For it's the end and the beginning to everything that has me wiping away my soft tears, feeling the weight of my feet and the deep sigh in my breath as the world never stops circling and twirling us around, the beauty of the earth shows there more to everything then meets the eye!
......Yet for what my eye sees it's a beautiful world that we need to slow down and enjoy while we can!