It is often said that "all is calm just before the storm" and I know this from personal experiences and with many stories of how the day before any kind of trauma seems to reach an almost magical utopia in our memories when we look back and think "I didn't even know that was a perfect moment in my life...just before all hell brook loose the next day." It is because we are reflective beings that while going through deep stress in a crisis we will automatically look back at how nice everything was in our lives on that amazing day before..... It is no secret with those who know me how passionate and opinionated I can become, having been raised in a family who always had to stand for something, who always had to be RIGHT. I will carry those same good and bad traits with me ALWAYS. Yet as I grow older I try to learn how everything has 2 sides to every story, that each person has a very different life experience from my own self. The most freeing feeling in the world for me was when I could say "Maybe I was wrong?" It is a powerful feeling to admit not knowing it all, to be able to say "I am sorry." without feeling humiliated by my constant learning curve ahead of me as I grow older. I am passionate still, even with a constant understanding that my ego will never ease to challenge my need for my peace of mind and keeping me on my toes! It is very important to me that I keep growing and changing, that I seek a better understanding from how other people see the world while delighting in all I have learned for my own magical view of things. Along side my passion and my opinions I have dedicated my life to fighting against ABUSE. This is a very broad topic, abuse covers many problems that I stand against with a powerful sense of bettering the world in my bravery to speak up even though I may be the only one in a group who is lead to do so.....maybe in those moments I ask myself "Am I wrong here for being so fired up?" Then I think of the definition for the word "abuse" and then I come back to my bravery as a much needed a strength to say "I will ALWAYS stand against ABUSE, I made my mission statement for the group "The Band of Mercy" years ago to say "We fight against all animal abuse." It is a constant conversation to teach our next generation how all animals in this world need our help, they need our respect. Abuse is the number one thing I will always fight against even if I stand alone, but my biggest delight in my life time is that I am never ever alone! There is a movement against abuse in many different levels out there, because GOOD people are NOT hard to find if we are brave enough to seek them out! It is the calm before the storm, every new year holds a certain kind of hope and a powerful desire for peace to better the world! A new year is unknown full of hopeful good days ahead! It is the endless cycle of growing and making a difference all together for that perfect quality of life! It is of my own personal opinion that if we stand against abuse then we can reach this goal, to give every living soul endless love and joy! SO I will always speak up and stand out against abuse, be it child abuse, animal cruelty, drug abuse, domestic violence, Government corruption, police force abuse, criminal activities and ANYONE who hurts another living soul. I know why I stand against ABUSE of any kind, I am not out to make light of all the wars or battle lines drawn......everyone will have a story to tell and a passion to follow so I think being able to listen and love unconditionally helps all these issues of abuse get addressed and dealt with head on. May this New Year be a refreshing new start to create the kind of world that we all would like! It is my most favorite question to ask every single day that I am alive "What kind of world do you want?" Make it so for 2015, take heart and ownership of yourself to be the BEST person that you can be!
My personal celebration of the holidays never gets old, Especially when shared with kids! I have enjoyed babysitting, dog sitting and the occasional odd jobs this past fall, whenever I get to watch my buddy Joshua we have a great time! We toss paper airplanes, or climb trees, we look through the bug book and run through the sprinklers especially after a day at the ZOO. These last 4 years with him in my life has been so delightful, so energizing that I was sad in hearing he was moving away this week. So we made a big fun last event in hanging out at the holiday "Garden a Glow" along with his Mom and baby brother. The four of us had such a delightful time in the botanical gardens decorate in Christmas lights! Joshua and I ran to the top of the hill while his mom Eranda sat with her baby boy Kite, resting and waiting for us to return. Eranda said my blinking lights on my hat allowed her to know where we were up there in the whole time. Joshua and I just stood a moment at the top of the gardens looking out across at Boise, Idaho. In the winter's darkness I said "Look at those city lights! I am so glad it's not so cold right now up here." Joshua jumped around from bench to bench saying "I won't be living here anymore.....and so we won't get to go to the zoo anymore." I felt sad as I thought about how much fun I've always had hanging out with this kid! I smiled back thoughtfully and half hugged him knowing it is always so hard when everything changes. When we saw a long line of kids waiting to ring the bell in the glowing gardens I asked Josh if we should go get in line he smirked "It's not worth standing in line forever....it's just a bell, I rang it last year anyway." I laughed at his response knowing so many times when we went to festivals or to parades if there was a crowd he would always say "This isn't fun any more lets walk over there where there is less people." I would agree proudly and we would just chat away in our own world. The Garden a Glow evening was truly fun and magical, we walked through the whole place and saw every display while goofing around together. As a going away gift I gave Joshua our well used bug book and his favorite rubber snake that we had played many pranks on each other with over the years! The magic of being a kid is such a huge world of wonders that I will always be so grateful for these years of hanging out with my buddy Joshua! I will be a bit sad too, I shall miss him so much for swinging and walking the railroad tracks or jumping over the irrigation ditch was made even better with him by my side, with him saying things like "This is CRAZY! We could get hit by a train!" OR in that moment when I swung him over the water only to fall completely in myself! We both were laughing so long over that moment in our many adventures!
It was a holly jolly night running around with Joshua under the Christmas lights even though I knew I would be sad when he left. Making it the best night ever in jokes and stories and laughter! Being friends is something that came so natural for us that I know we will always stay in touch, It's just hard to adapt to not having him around to show me new things like the lego movie or how to order from the new soda machines in McDonald's and Burger King. So instead I will keep the memories of dancing to all his Michael Jackson songs or putting old puzzles together as the best part of our holly jolly good times!
When I went to church growing up THIS was my most favorite hymn at Christmas time, the emotional power of singing these lyrics so passionately made me tear up a bit at the message in how we have hope from our oppression in this world! Falling on my knees always made me feel so humble and so true to our natural calling to be grateful this time of the year for everything we have! This song still speaks to me in a much different way because I no longer have blind faith but instead I see the bigger message in this song as a metaphor for all things! for on December 25th the SUN is born again from that date on it becomes more light out later on in the day as the Sun grows toward the summer solstices and while religion takes the same story for it's own agenda I see in this song once again the hidden promise of hope returning after a long dark cold winter.......I'll always admire this song for the joy to my heart it brings!
The waves of the ocean hit me in a sharp cold wind as I climbed over the slope unhooking my dog's leash. "WOW! What a Christmas morning!" he bolted towards the group of seagulls then happily return to me for his Frisbee and I walked for miles in true happiness this way. This was my 30th year, there was magic in reaching age suddenly realizing my soul felt at home, maybe I was born 30 and now I can say everything is in balance with the universe, ALL is calm. My dog loves the ocean side for the overwhelming freedom to run as far as my eye can see before I call him back to me, "If your dog likes you and if your dog trusts you then they will always come back when you call them. So how you treat them, how you protect them will show in their behavior." The dog trainer made me chuckle as this could be applied to humans as well! I would never forget this power point presentation. My dog always came back calmly laying down like he wants me to carry him back to the hotel room now....and I would. The soft cool sand covers my finger tips as I loved sitting and digging into the ground watching the sunset before me in a crystal masterpiece over the ever moving and breathing coast line. All is well, All is calm, All is magically set before me..... I am grateful for every trip to the Oregon Coast, the best times are when my dogs are with me of course but sometimes just sitting on the drift wood all alone I am left in awe of such a place for my soul to rest and refresh. One day I shall die and I hope to float off on those white waves into another adventure for my spirit! All is calm when I arrive here, nothing matters anymore at the moment I smell the salty seaweed and see the endless picture of water moving towards the end of the earth! The last time I stood there I said "I don't know when I will be back, but I shall carry your glory with me everywhere I go! It doesn't get an easier out there in the world, however it comes down to a choice in being calm, with a little help from YOU!" I nodded towards the blue water as it rolled on by my bare feet soaking into the dark wet hard sand and I smiled back as if the ocean understood me, it gave me the wonder in all things!
It's a holiday song that is fun to sing with kids as you march around pretending to be drumming, my father once said it was a stupid song because it never happened..."a drummer boy at the side of baby Jesus being born?!?" and I took his opinion into consideration back then and yet knew it was simply fun to sing! Now I chuckle looking back at the "splitting hairs" in the constant reflection of my childhood's magic being squashed in the name of so called reality and truths..... In the bigger picture of Christmas being about the birth of Jesus everyone is struggling and reaching to make that an actual fact more then simply delighting in the beauty of it all, maybe or maybe not Jesus was ever born........ that's not the point for the holidays. I feel being together is the whole point for celebrating and IF Jesus was surrounded by music from a boy on his drum is still a lovely idea like with ALL fairy tales, all of history, in legends and in parables there is meaning if you look for it! I say take delight in whatever message you choose for the Holidays! "Come they told me...." is a great united message I like it because it has such an emotional start, then there is this idea that a king is born to save them yet he is also poor like them so he will somehow help and save the world in the end for all....I think we are always looking for a new "Leader" to relate to our own current issues and injustices. It's a timeless message if you really think about it this classic Christmas song. The best part of the song that always gave me goose bumps was the drummer boy sharing "He smiled at me...." such as babies often do, there is a refreshing thought for happiness prevailing when under oppression. And also I think over how maybe there is another hidden thought here about how baby Jesus is smiling because he already knew this drummer boy in this very moment of time. Like in a flash of depth full of spirituality and respect, these two come together wanting the very same things in this world and smiling in agreement over the wonder of it all!
I think this is the most coziest month of the whole year! When my home is decked out in Christmas decor it gives way to a fresh new look! My husband was in his study lost in hours of getting his first final down and so he never came out to the living room where I transformed the place top to bottom in Christmas magic! That first morning he exclaimed "OH MY GOD! Looks like ELF was here while we were asleep!" and I woke up laughing so proud of my creativity and likeness to ELF the famous movie with Will Ferrel for he has always been my favorite in relating to his honest holiday cheer for everyone near! This is such a magical time of the year! I can't say that enough!
AND I think all my pets LOVE these many soft blankets I leave all around in my living room and bed. It gives them warmth and most importantly comfort in this cold season! My Christmas tree shines on just before bed while I cuddle and kiss my beloved pets simply admiring it's soft inspiring glow of this annual time with our tree here!
I am proud to be home for Christmas this year and deeply enjoying this cozy comfort in being both romantic and relaxing! The holidays fly by way to fast so it's the whole month of December that has me enjoying every little thing, it's pure magic!
It was the Christmas season of 2007 when my husband Tony said "I have decided to like Christmas for the first time in my whole life because you look so happy all the time during Christmas." I looked at him in wonder and astonishment then exclaimed "It's a CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!" I danced around so very amazed and happy! It had been 8 years of battling him on the holidays when I would explain the magic of the holidays had nothing to do with religion or greed for me! I loved family time. I loved singing along with every childhood memory in those familiar songs and the world came alive in all kinds of rainbows out there! It was fun to wear blinking lights in my hair while at work. To walk through the mall with a peppermint mocha in hand laughing at all the children in line to see Santa. Giving to organizations for the needy, sharing dinner with friends and resting before bed to simply stare off into the soft glowing tree in my living room. One year I simply put light over my big house plant for my own personal tree.....and every year I cut out snow flakes while watching "Mickey's Christmas carol" to the protest and annoyance of my husband who would ask "HOW OLD ARE YOU?" I reply back in not skipping a beat "Old enough to know one should never loose the Holiday spirit, it gives us hope for the future and a time in our lives to remember we need to never forgot how to play." He would shake his head and then we would debate for hours over morning coffee cups on the history of Christmas. I never lost my focus in delighting over decorations, songs and the magic even if left all alone in my walk through the shopping centers or coffee shops. I delighted the most in sitting on a bench in "Garden-a-glow" thinking about the love of the holidays and the love for simply being alive was the best part of Christmas. To hear that Tony was having a changed of heart in all our spats and disagreements through the years made the Holiday season of 2007 stand out for me in realizing how nice it is to actually have someone walk or sit with me in these cozy traditions! A friend once mentioned "You must make a really great home during Christmas to convinced him to come around." I shrugged in wonder saying "I don't demand anything, if he hates Christmas that his is own personal choice it has no hold on me for I know what makes me happy and in the end it is far easier to love and laugh then to protest and frown. He is amazed over how nice, at how EASY it is to not judge happy holiday lovers like me anymore....and I never took it personal so to each his own." As I bought our specialize coffee drinks, Tony asked "Where are we going?" It was Thanksgiving weekend in 2007 I was super excited to show Tony more of my own personal world in Holiday wonders! He held up a blanket with a questioning look that I had tossed in the back seat of our car he asked "Why would we need a blanket? Where are we going!?!" I sipped my warm coffee as I drove on not explaining just teasing "I am going to show you the magic of Christmas!" We drove up into the foothills of an old money well established neighborhood I sang along to the Christmas carols all the way there as Tony waited in wonder over what I could be planning and not sharing with him the next big event of our lives. The evening grew dark by the time we made it to the top of the hills suddenly Tony began joking around "Oooooh I see! You brought me up here to make out....I getcha, I getcha." I just laughed as I found the perfect spot to park turning radio station to match the light display before us. Tony was stunned as the house before us danced with the tunes of the music he asked again "How did you do create this? How did you know about this house?" I kept smiling on proudly as we watched the Christmas decor light up in the same way the music took us along the story as if were we seeing a real life play. As the program ended in such a beautiful way I clapped on as if I were in a huge audience admiring this true glory! Tony exclaimed in awe "WE are doing this every year! That was AMAZING! I never knew people decorate their house like that!?!" I drove us back home so pleased in how perfect every moment of sharing the beauty of Christmas had been this night. Tony sighed thoughtfully "I can't believe I have missed out on all of this for years, it's easier to choose to be happy during Christmas then to cynically judge and avoid people!" I pause to listen and understand him better then perk up with a great idea "WELL Then....Do I have a movie for you to watch tonight on that very same issue!" He laughed and I knew this was a holiday season to never forget!
This is a rather stormy day, snow falling and clouds covering everything! I woke up to all 3 dogs not waking up very easily so I said "Must be stormy outside then." Sure enough they all ran out to pee quickly and come right back in for breakfast, it's the beginning of a stressful week for my husband in his law school finales so I keep to myself for the most part, decorating for Christmas gives me such joy and delight being inside from such cold! My 6 lazy cuddling pets fill my heart with all the socializing I really need as we hang out in my blankets and pillows fun filled living room! I am not a winter person, but from the safety of my warm home I like to sing "Let it snow, let it snow!" The steaming of mulled wine and the colorful new homemade soup I roasted up makes me LOVE being a homemaker! This is such a magical time of the year in which I take it all in with a fat cat in my arms and snowy wet dogs at my feet...we are now just waiting on setting up the Christmas tree!
