To Pity

When I think of my life, I have noticed a pattern of pity forming for all of my great loss or of all my great dramas.....How can one as young as I am be overwhelming changed so much? I want to be goofy, care free and clueless. Yet my actual real life scenes are far from playful and silly. I can be happy again but when I ask "Why did these things happen to me so early in my life?" My self-pity grows and grows.......I feel like maybe when my elderly years have arrived I will be able "play" again, but for right now I have to walk through some very heavy shit........It's easy to think I am all alone here,yet I know that I am NOT. 
It's easy to question everything in order to find a reason over WHY me...but then I can also ask WHY NOT me? Am I so special that bad things don't befall my happy seeking soul? 
I want peace more then laughter, I want wisdom more then youth and I REALLY hope to not take ALL these events of painful struggle so personal, for my pity will come and go........I know. 
I like to think that there is a great wind of time ready to change everything once again. Even though I've been afraid to step out my front door lately, because of this unknown breeze which gives and take away such life. To pity my losses or to bravely begin again? That is my main question lately.......

 I know It's important in how much I need to start understanding in order to move beyond such self-pity and return to that brave strength I've admired which allows me to enjoy all things in life once again.

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.   - See more at: http://quotationsbook.com/quote/30398/#sthash.haDkRdad.dpuf

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.   - See more at: http://quotationsbook.com/quote/30398/#sthash.haDkRdad.dpuf

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.   - See more at: http://quotationsbook.com/quote/30398/#sthash.haDkRdad.dpuf

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.   - See more at: http://quotationsbook.com/quote/30398/#sthash.haDkRdad.dpuf

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.   - See more at: http://quotationsbook.com/quote/30398/#sthash.haDkRdad.dpuf