When was I just a kid, a 9 year old kid to be exact.
I remember my mother curling my blonde hair every Wednesday evening in order to look good for church.
I remember my mother curling my blonde hair every Wednesday evening in order to look good for church.
She would get both my sister and I ready in much the same way lots of hair spray to keep all the curls in place. For it was very important to our mother that everyone looked good before going out. And even though you will never find hair spray in my home now, I still take her same pride in how I look before I leave my home every time.
(AWANA. (derived from the first letters of "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2 Timothy 2:15 it's an international evangelical Christian nonprofit organization founded in 1950)
Where these groups of kids would play games, winning prizes and cheering on their teammates. )
In AWANA every Wednesday night my mother would escort me to my team leader who was one of her good friends. A very competitive lady, whose rule book was as thick as the bible it self!
My mother and her friend came from the same society and belief system. They would be able to keep an eye on me as I tried to make new friends so desperately!
I failed miserably of course in trying to do everything right for my team, while also wanting to "fit in" I struggled all over the place socially!
AWANA is made of 4 teams in colors of Red, Blue, Green and Yellow that hang out at each corner of the Church's gym. Then the games begin!
Racing around in some competitive way for first, second or third places gave our teams points through out the night in order to win the big bag of candy at the end of the program. Other points came from standing to attention, wearing our vests, carrying our bibles, and bringing a new friend. We got points for every bible verse recited from memory. We got points for being quiet during the bible story time. We got points for doing additional projects from our AWANA books on our own time. My mother placed me on the winning team, it was always shocking if we didn't win at the end of the night. Our leader was very passionate about always winning in fact she carried extra bibles in her bag for extra points. She was always lecturing me on needing to learn how to read, since I struggled in saying my bible verses unless someone read them to me first then I would memorize what they said in order to gain a point. Facing my father every Wednesday night was scary if I was in trouble for not saying my bible verses I got the belt no hesitation. It made me very quick on my feet in surviving those days back then! I was bullied and teased for being such a strange child, all the kids on my team were successful in everything we faced for the night. Being 9 years old with a Mother hovering around and a team leader who gave a full report on my behavior if she had left to check out her other kids in other rooms of the church, I lived in such deep fear in failing, I lived a very lonely time while wanting a best friend above anything else only to trust a kid on my team as they turned on me when the others came around. If I messed up a game and we lost a point everyone of them was in my face!
So really I loved and hated AWANA, every week I got ready with such hope for a better time then the week before.....
My Mom always had advice for me in seeking out the most popular kid on my team, but I came to learn that kid was always the meanest one of all!
My Dad would warn me as I left that I had better of said 2 more bible verses then the last time, so I was determined to say my verses first every time before I would forget the words I had heard, then I could relax and enjoy the rest of the night.
It was not a good year in my life being 9 years old, even the week I spent with my Grandparents stays with me 30 years later!
Towards the end of that AWANA year I made a best friend after all, she was very much like me in messing up a lot and being made fun of, so I rescued her from my own personal experience I knew exact how she felt and why she burst out crying through the night until we made a deep connection!
In AWANA as we cheered on our team mates and collected the points from our godly behavior, the director came out to announced that the yellow team needed more kids on it and so who would like to move over there? I didn't hesitate, I didn't stop for a second as I grabbed my stuff up from the "never loosing Green team" to the "always last Yellow team"
I was about to run off to my new nicer team leader an elderly lady who always smiled so nicely at me even though I had never actually met her. In my quick thinking my Green team lader grabbed me by the arm exclaiming "This isn't just for tonight! It's a permanent move, you can't ever come back to us! I don't think you understand what is happening here....." I smiled big and nodded my head at her "Yes I know exactly what is happening here, I am leaving right now! I want to be on the Yellow team!"
The director clapped at me and thanked me for being so quick to help out the teams. I hugged my new leader with such pure joy! I was meeting new kids with high fives and refreshing new energy, they all embraced me like a hero! I felt so overwhelmingly free! So overwhelming accepted just as I was! I stood for a moment in awe of my quick thinking, my clever wit and I wonder what kind of punishment awaited for me? A raging Father? A raging mother? The cold shoulder from my old team leader? I wondered to myself "How did I just know to do this? To get on this team that I had admired for so long in how nice they were to each other? I didn't go ask my mother first, I didn't wait for them to just pick me to move, I went in the very second it was offered, I didn't have any doubt in myself for I knew it was a perfect moment for me to escape my horrid team!
I was a loser on the Green Team, then I became the Coolest kid on the Yellow team! I was in such awe of myself!
My yellow team leader would always laugh at the things I would say and nodded her head proudly at me as if I "got it." in life so that my was place to be in Awana! I was right where I felt like I should be!
And then there was the ride home that night.......
My inner peace held out as my mother cried on "WHAT were you THINKING!?!?!?! The yellow team is always the one with the worse points and they NEVER win!?!?!?" Her raging on even when my father saw her made him title his head at me in questioning as he simply sent me to bed and I thought "Thank you God, I will take Mom's anger over Dad's anger any day of the week!"
Then as I prayed in bed I thought of my new wonderfully nice leader who will now help me in bible verses and never ever yell at me like the one before!
So as a kid I truly loved Awana!
As a young adult and a leader in AWANA I gave every kid their own voice as much possible coming from my own experience. For I knew that the less fear they had the stronger and happier they would be. Even though I got chewed out for being so slack on the rules I knew in my core being that I was right in how I handled my own team.
All of those high fives and hugs were worth so much more then winning!
You can be popular for a day, and always win in life but Where is your soul and honest heart beat?
Where is your true value?
Where is YOUR own Yellow team full of love and support?
Some kids never step out of line, and some kids like myself run like hell to the other side of the rainbow!
(AWANA. (derived from the first letters of "Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed" as taken from 2 Timothy 2:15 it's an international evangelical Christian nonprofit organization founded in 1950)
Where these groups of kids would play games, winning prizes and cheering on their teammates. )
In AWANA every Wednesday night my mother would escort me to my team leader who was one of her good friends. A very competitive lady, whose rule book was as thick as the bible it self!
My mother and her friend came from the same society and belief system. They would be able to keep an eye on me as I tried to make new friends so desperately!
I failed miserably of course in trying to do everything right for my team, while also wanting to "fit in" I struggled all over the place socially!
AWANA is made of 4 teams in colors of Red, Blue, Green and Yellow that hang out at each corner of the Church's gym. Then the games begin!
Racing around in some competitive way for first, second or third places gave our teams points through out the night in order to win the big bag of candy at the end of the program. Other points came from standing to attention, wearing our vests, carrying our bibles, and bringing a new friend. We got points for every bible verse recited from memory. We got points for being quiet during the bible story time. We got points for doing additional projects from our AWANA books on our own time. My mother placed me on the winning team, it was always shocking if we didn't win at the end of the night. Our leader was very passionate about always winning in fact she carried extra bibles in her bag for extra points. She was always lecturing me on needing to learn how to read, since I struggled in saying my bible verses unless someone read them to me first then I would memorize what they said in order to gain a point. Facing my father every Wednesday night was scary if I was in trouble for not saying my bible verses I got the belt no hesitation. It made me very quick on my feet in surviving those days back then! I was bullied and teased for being such a strange child, all the kids on my team were successful in everything we faced for the night. Being 9 years old with a Mother hovering around and a team leader who gave a full report on my behavior if she had left to check out her other kids in other rooms of the church, I lived in such deep fear in failing, I lived a very lonely time while wanting a best friend above anything else only to trust a kid on my team as they turned on me when the others came around. If I messed up a game and we lost a point everyone of them was in my face!
So really I loved and hated AWANA, every week I got ready with such hope for a better time then the week before.....
My Mom always had advice for me in seeking out the most popular kid on my team, but I came to learn that kid was always the meanest one of all!
My Dad would warn me as I left that I had better of said 2 more bible verses then the last time, so I was determined to say my verses first every time before I would forget the words I had heard, then I could relax and enjoy the rest of the night.
It was not a good year in my life being 9 years old, even the week I spent with my Grandparents stays with me 30 years later!
Towards the end of that AWANA year I made a best friend after all, she was very much like me in messing up a lot and being made fun of, so I rescued her from my own personal experience I knew exact how she felt and why she burst out crying through the night until we made a deep connection!
In AWANA as we cheered on our team mates and collected the points from our godly behavior, the director came out to announced that the yellow team needed more kids on it and so who would like to move over there? I didn't hesitate, I didn't stop for a second as I grabbed my stuff up from the "never loosing Green team" to the "always last Yellow team"
I was about to run off to my new nicer team leader an elderly lady who always smiled so nicely at me even though I had never actually met her. In my quick thinking my Green team lader grabbed me by the arm exclaiming "This isn't just for tonight! It's a permanent move, you can't ever come back to us! I don't think you understand what is happening here....." I smiled big and nodded my head at her "Yes I know exactly what is happening here, I am leaving right now! I want to be on the Yellow team!"
The director clapped at me and thanked me for being so quick to help out the teams. I hugged my new leader with such pure joy! I was meeting new kids with high fives and refreshing new energy, they all embraced me like a hero! I felt so overwhelmingly free! So overwhelming accepted just as I was! I stood for a moment in awe of my quick thinking, my clever wit and I wonder what kind of punishment awaited for me? A raging Father? A raging mother? The cold shoulder from my old team leader? I wondered to myself "How did I just know to do this? To get on this team that I had admired for so long in how nice they were to each other? I didn't go ask my mother first, I didn't wait for them to just pick me to move, I went in the very second it was offered, I didn't have any doubt in myself for I knew it was a perfect moment for me to escape my horrid team!
I was a loser on the Green Team, then I became the Coolest kid on the Yellow team! I was in such awe of myself!
My yellow team leader would always laugh at the things I would say and nodded her head proudly at me as if I "got it." in life so that my was place to be in Awana! I was right where I felt like I should be!
And then there was the ride home that night.......
My inner peace held out as my mother cried on "WHAT were you THINKING!?!?!?! The yellow team is always the one with the worse points and they NEVER win!?!?!?" Her raging on even when my father saw her made him title his head at me in questioning as he simply sent me to bed and I thought "Thank you God, I will take Mom's anger over Dad's anger any day of the week!"
Then as I prayed in bed I thought of my new wonderfully nice leader who will now help me in bible verses and never ever yell at me like the one before!
So as a kid I truly loved Awana!
As a young adult and a leader in AWANA I gave every kid their own voice as much possible coming from my own experience. For I knew that the less fear they had the stronger and happier they would be. Even though I got chewed out for being so slack on the rules I knew in my core being that I was right in how I handled my own team.
All of those high fives and hugs were worth so much more then winning!
You can be popular for a day, and always win in life but Where is your soul and honest heart beat?
Where is your true value?
Where is YOUR own Yellow team full of love and support?
Some kids never step out of line, and some kids like myself run like hell to the other side of the rainbow!
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