Bravery

  It's that time of the year where I feel excited to watch all the year end reviews, all the year ends news specials! The Young Turks do "Hero of the year." and "Jerk of the year." I love how they cover the news in such a real, honest way.

It takes bravery to cover the news against the corporate businesses and the politicians, truth often hurts because it demands us to grow and change. Honesty keeps us on track in who we really are in the world and hope is the simple fact we can always improve ourselves with such knowledge and realize life itself is the educational study for us to figure out as we go. 

And we go into each new year with many hopes of knowing now what we didn't know then, 12 months ago on January 1rst I reflective over my life, realizing I needed a word to keep with me as I lived in through the 4 seasons ahead. That word was BRAVE and I would cling to that word many times over in 365 days.....

Tony was gone for a week in January and I happily stayed home care for our pets, when he came home he was a changed man, a kinder, softer person saying he was sorry for how he left in such a huff. Everything he saw while being away made him realize just how good he has it back home. I told him how important it was for me to hear this, the timing was perfect because through all these issues on our lives was wearing me out! He said "We need to change up our routine in this new year and try to remember how we much love and need each other.....because a week without you was so hard for me!" I giggled and smiled thinking being brave and honest was already making the world better!

As our friend was crying needing help the late spring afternoon Tony and I bravely agree to help her get back on her feet through the summer. It was both challenging and rewarding, we ended up feeling wiser and stronger with a summer full of memories, being brave had pushed me into learning to communicate better and to be in awe of all the good things a busy active life can hold!

Looking back over 2015, being brave in telling my mother we won't be doing Christmas like we had in the past felt difficult at first then very calm in the end. Taking her on a little road trip back In August was being brave because I wasn't sure what it would be like and yet I was ready for anything.....I have always been honest with my mother it's why she would stare at me in shock when I was 15 telling her that true love is better for a marriage then sharing the same faith. Or when she would call me up and I would say "Just traveling through the wine country, I never knew making wine was so detailed!" dead silence through the phone as she changed the subject leaving my 25 year old self to shake my head at how no matter my honesty she reacted in avoidance. In this past year she and I have had many long phone conversations, sometimes late into the evening or mid-morning, the honesty and the quality of our conversations is better then ever before....I always tell her exactly when I can come see her or take her out, for her birthday this past fall we went into Boise from all the way out on her farm to a couple of places she hasn't been to since her stroke. It was a full on busy shopping, strolling along day and I loved being able to do that for her. 4 years before right after her stroke I remember being so afraid of taking her out on my own in case I couldn't catch her if she fell or if she got sick, now being aware of how she gets around and how to be brave is to learn new things like this about each other I am very capable to take her out on my own.

Our big move this year was one of those brave moments in my life, I hadn't even been thinking of moving or finding a better place. I have 3 dogs and 3 cats plus a stray so the idea of pet deposits or first and last rent down seemed stressful to think about. my heart was pounding as I walked through Carol's happy home thinking "BE BRAVE, this is going to be your new home." She smiled so sweetly at me saying "I really want you to live here and I don't care how many pets you have, I know you would be THE perfect person for this place." I was amazed at the freedom she offered and the perfect place she had created to live in so we bravely packed up and now my husband's happier then I have ever seen him! Even bringing his friends over with such pride in hosting and socializing in our new open living room. 

To be Brave is see such good things happen for those you love!

I look back at 2015 impressed by all the little brave moments, all the real big changes and how I am even more focused on 2016 because I feel stronger after being so focused on Bravery for the last 12 months, 

So the word I have chosen for 2016 is JOY.....I am joyful to now look back and see how much I have grown, how much I have learned and how life really does get better!