Into the whole 30

It's been fun cooking a different kind of meat almost every night, I am getting back into our old style of eating it is like coming out of the woods for sure!
It was in 2011 that our paleo cookbooks came to our kitchen counters and our bodies changed forever for the better! Even all my in-laws got on boat loosing weight and feeling more playful in their 5th decade of life, How inspiring it all was in that romantic year that I often wonder what happen since then for myself? Was it my mother's stroke, was having to move when I didn't want to? Was the stressful schedule as my husband started law school that made me suddenly see my life change tragically???
Suddenly I needed comfort instead of caring about nutrition, suddenly I spiraled into gaining weight again and mood swings I was not sue to.....all the while I told myself "I can stop anytime, whenever I want to." JUST like a drug addict in protest over a bad habit in their life style, because sugar is a drug to me. It is a sweet poison that when life totally sucks I found fake happiness and comfort.

Of course in June of 2013 I was already on edge, with challenges in my marriage and an over all frustration with myself which makes me think it is all connected in not feeling healthy, in not feeling connected to the better part of the world......that was the summer I never went to bed without a gin&tonic or a hard lemon aid in hand because I was deeply hurting, it was like my blood ran thick and my bones ached in the soreness of sadness that never broke away for a break......I still can feel it when I remember that sad summer, my grief still flares up here and there making me say "Fuck it, I NEED a drink!" but that cocktail can never bring my best friend back to me, back to the bar stool beside me like old times when we gossiped and giggle freely......so I know exactly why I basically gave it all up, gave up on that joy in nutrition and good health. There are always going to be sad stories, many different types of excuses to keep kicking my sugar addiction ball down the road.
My focus on living to hundred means I need to dial it all back in right now, not later when I find happiness again, not when I have accomplished a life's dream or when I can see my best friend again because those things are not the beginning to this moment of right now........

Benny chuckled through the phone saying "You need to move here to Chicago and cook me one of those amazing homemade meals of yours! I'm seriously sick of take out here in my hotel room." I groaned back "Ooooh man, that would be so hard living in a hotel room for so long...I hate it when we go on vacation with no kitchen because after a few days I'm itching to cook something better to eat! hahahahaha" She replied thoughtfully "You have been looking really healthy from the pics on Facebook so you must be doing something right, I'm just not inspired on my own BUT if YOU were around me then I would be! hahahahaha" I happily shared with her some of my new recipes saying cheerfully "Life is short, after my mother's stroke I realized I can't afford to be lazy about sugar's poison anymore."

Today is the second week into "The whole 30."  I am starting to feel better, even more alert once again without the sugar rush I have been allowing in my life. Happiness is apart of my gratefulness in having known such a friend as Benny, now it's time that I don't avoid a healthier choice in living along side all of our losses and our grief.
These 30 days of  NO sugar, NO alcohol, NO grains, NO dairy, NO caffeine have been a familiar of taste of what once made me feel so strong when I step out into the sunshine and declared 
"I want to LIVE!" 

To cook kale; heat skillet on medium heat with a big spoonful of Coconut oil as it all melt toss kale leaves sprinkle salt and pepper then stir around awhile until it looks the way ya like it.
Then cut avocado in half scoop out with spoon pile on salsa.
To roast goose; heat oven 325' put into roasting pan poke it all over with a fork then salt and pepper all over then into the heated oven, wait 45 minuets or until the internal heat is 130' then take it out cut off the breast of the goose, then the rest go back into the oven until the thigh is 170', sear skin side down after it all comes out of the oven in a medium heated skillet with ghee or coconut oil for 3 minuets. The cut for the dinner plate and enjoy an almost steak like texture!

(The best way I remember nutrition is like the yen and yang symbol, with the alkaline and the acidity balancing each other perfectly)

Moments in the Woods

Into the Woods

 

   "Into the Woods" I knew it the moment I saw Meryl Streep that I AM going to LOVE this movie! Now I hardly ever go to movie theaters anymore, yet in making new friends this year I have been more in the last 3 months now then in ALL the last 3 years combine.....funny how life unfolds. I was impressed with myself in seeing every film listed at our local movie theater last month. I am so use to going alone since my husband dislikes such places, yet over this holiday break he attended a movie with me only complaining once trying hard not to complain out loud less I counted that as negative attitude in my quest to make life happier for us. 
Going to the movies on my own is the most romantic magical experiences for me because I miss out on NOTHING, I take it all in with such wonder! Like in every chair and every light, in every word and every move from the big screen or from all around me! I really love sinking into another world fully and completely! I look forward to feeling the emotions in the story before me. I take it all in as if it as my own life, my own stories.....I enjoy relating and being lead to think more about the show when it is over.
 Going to the movie theater alone allows me such piece of mind, such well being.
Yet going with a friend I love our shared laughter and tears while watching it at the same time and I love feeling like it's a night on the town simply walking arm in arm reflectively or debating over the whole experience together!
As Shanna and I went together to see "Into the Woods" in the middle of the school day, we were laughing at how rare it was to be there and how fun to do something so different in our day while she said "I think you are the only friend I know who would like seeing this with me." I laughed kindheartedly because I knew exactly what she meant, I live for fairy tales, so this movie delighted me in every way! 
I noticed how nice it was to burst out laughing together, to cheer on together and to lean in saying at the same time "How PERFECT!" then giggle even more. Friends are so important to our good health, I am grateful to have such hearts of gold for random afternoon flicks like that.
Then as Johnny Depp suddenly appeared on screen, I squealed out "YES!" in delighted surprise as Shanna laughed on at me as there were not very many movie goers around us I explained "This is my kind of world, my kind of movie completely!" She nodded on proudly saying "So I noticed." then we happily watched all the magic unfold.....

Ain't life sweet

Cloudburst

There is such deep beauty in getting old for me and I can not wait! Maybe it is the knowing time is short so go have an adventure right away that thrills my senses and my hope in the future! Maybe it is the companionship, the caring for each other as we grow old that comes into focus more where as I see young people so busy in their lives, busy in business and busy trying to get rich....that I sigh with anticipation for my gray hair days of sweet peace and calmness in my soul over knowing exactly who I am. Whenever I visit my mother I tell her how I truly love her gray hair it's different shades of gray all curly very much like Dotty's in the movie "Cloudburst" in fact when I first watch this film I thought instantly of my own mother. She wants to go on an adventure so bad she can almost taste it then her parallelized side reminds her that she can't do anything like she use to so she hates being old, she also hates her gray hair and well her whole life now. I feel sorry in not having the power to heal her again, it teaches me so much in what she shares and I know whenever I visit her that I can bring the laughter and love with me. It is why getting old doesn't frighten me at all, that same delight in my life, in my love will follow me all the way to my own walker of a nursing home!  She reminds me now in my middle age life to not take anything for granted and be careful who you let care for you in your helpless time in need. "Cloudburst" was one such story of true devotion and how good it is to be rescued by the one you love!  The whole movie had me laughing out loud, had me nodding my head as the young man they were giving a ride came to help them out because without the strength of the youth being old would not be so safe. I related to each character in some way and I LOVE the morning dance because that is the key to laughter and love as we remember to never stop playing around and dancing once we wake! This love story, this fun adventure, this real movie made me laugh, made me proud, made me cry and made me clearly say wisely

"BEST Fucking day of my life!"

Challenging Season

                    It is cozy and fun in the first snow fall, and it's a nice rest from digging the dirt or raking up leaves but after awhile winter feels like one long foggy mess of coldness. Thank goodness for all my pets to cuddle up with and for all the blankets I keep adding to my collections. 

It is my most challenging season. Winter.

 For I love the sunshine whenever it pops out as the rare hope it can give! Yet I usually spend my time making sure every cat has a big towel bed on the floor and I'm home by 5pm before the fog sets in. In the middle of the night I get up to cover all my cats and dogs with a baby blanket or make sure they are all in a warm place. I feel like winter has the longest nights at times, mornings are even more difficult in bitter cold or in a surprise snowfall. I like my "Not driving long distance." rule whenever it snows. Then I put on more clothes and drink coffee all day long.....wishing I had real flowers growing outside but instead I hurry to the store for those cheerful colors of the fresh flowers next to the fresh berries in hopes to comfort me when I'm feeling restless at midnight Oooops I meant at 6pm in the darkness of winter it's so hard to tell what time it is all night long!
In the first part of winter I go to bed early feeling super painfully cold, in this latter part I stay up much later almost confused by morning looking all gray as if it's still 3am??? So I think it is very safe to explain how winter is very confusing for me in how I tell time AND I know winter and I will not be good friends, not ever.
I love the holidays for the magical distraction to winter but they don't last as long as I would like, I like any event where I can cook up comfort foods in winter time! I follow the survival of winter checklist religiously in all 5 steps, but I still feel trapped by the cold air when I open my front door to grab the mail or let a cat back inside. The dogs and I stand under the cover of our patio talking about who is the first to step out into that storm? 
It's a challenging season for us all if maybe not very safe unless ya can find some pillows and blankest to help soften these long soggy days:-) 

the 5 steps are;

1. Get more sleep then usual.

2. Take a walk or be outside for even a few minuets each day even in a storm, Get fresh air!

3. See friends in person or do something for fun.


4. Cook some new recipes and keep cocktails on stock in case ya get snowed in:-)

5. Get a massage or have a spa day and always, ALWAYS dress warm!