Yesterday brought me to tears again in such a surprising way....10 months ago I lost my best friend Benny and some months on this date I feel just fine, tell stories and memories of her with no huge emotional out burst but yesterday was different maybe it was the spring season with that sense of changing or maybe it was the fact the last time I saw her was in April of 2013.......
I hit a wall, a huge thick castle wall when I want to talk to her again! I never thought this would happen so young in our lives yet here I am still sadden at the memories of such a day so painful to me as when she died.
We are coming up on a year.....maybe I needed those heavy tears last night to push me out of my cave in hiding from the truth, I shall never see her again. Yet maybe if she can see me then I need to step up my game, I need to get up and getting moving, let go of my self pity or my selfishness in missing my girl. I need to go swing after the storm in celebrating life and all those I love who still live on right now!
I am happy, deep inside my soul I am happy always. In my eyes I can see such beauty before me as I swing! There is nothing in this life that I want more then to just BE.
I am not alone in each breath I take, I am not alone in all these new friends I am making and most importantly I am not alone even when I go out to swing! In fact the higher I go towards the sky the more I feel less alone and closer to those angels out there in the beyond!
Today brought me to the park, to my much needed walk and to my swing where I could touch the sky knowing we are never ever going to accept these painful "Goodbyes" not when we swing!
I hit a wall, a huge thick castle wall when I want to talk to her again! I never thought this would happen so young in our lives yet here I am still sadden at the memories of such a day so painful to me as when she died.
We are coming up on a year.....maybe I needed those heavy tears last night to push me out of my cave in hiding from the truth, I shall never see her again. Yet maybe if she can see me then I need to step up my game, I need to get up and getting moving, let go of my self pity or my selfishness in missing my girl. I need to go swing after the storm in celebrating life and all those I love who still live on right now!
I am happy, deep inside my soul I am happy always. In my eyes I can see such beauty before me as I swing! There is nothing in this life that I want more then to just BE.
I am not alone in each breath I take, I am not alone in all these new friends I am making and most importantly I am not alone even when I go out to swing! In fact the higher I go towards the sky the more I feel less alone and closer to those angels out there in the beyond!
Today brought me to the park, to my much needed walk and to my swing where I could touch the sky knowing we are never ever going to accept these painful "Goodbyes" not when we swing!
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