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Tuesday, April 12, 2016


noun     the quality of being honest.
    1. "they spoke with convincing honesty about their fears"

                    I have been thinking about honesty for a little while now, because many of my childhood memories of drama came about because of my honesty, I was a very blunt child in which my mother would put her hand over my mouth to close it in mid-sentence because she was instantly embarrassed by me and I was raised to never lie for God sees and hears all so I was honest in a whole other level in my fear of God.

My honesty as a teenage was like a "badge of honor" a display of arrogance on my part and also a rebellion against my parents who were always hiding the fact they had issues, fighting at home only to go to church and act like everything is fine with us made me very mad, at 14 years old I would honestly say "If God can see your heart and everything then why HIDE or pretend to be okay in front of other people?" my mother would reply with a frustrated sigh at me explaining "No one understand the whole story, so there is no need to tell them what's happening at home that IS private." I gave her a quick reply back saying "Then tell them the WHOLE story and maybe they will have advice or a helpful tip on what to do???" She rolled her eyes at me saying "Oh Debby that is NOT how it works, they will just judge you and attack you for not having your life in order for God's glory."
I look back and think she was wise in her own honesty, and in her own life experience she didn't trust anyone expect her Father.....I was left to have many moments in my honesty to see what she was talking about because YES some people will always judge and will be happy you are not as perfect as you first claimed, in being honest I like to say it helps us to not feel so alone when we don't hide our struggles or stories from each other.

As I grow older I can see more how to honor those around me as they share their stories that I am not going to tell that story it is up to them to give us all that information. I do however share what happens to me without fear, without a second thought for I like taking ownership of every honest thing I say or do, I was born this way and raised with God judging me always....therefore to be honest is my safest choice and is my natural way of being.
I have been thinking back to how being open and real in my desire of who I am the whole world changed from something scary, negative and controlled to magical, beautiful and endless possibilities simply by being honest.
Honesty is the best policy then you don't have to keep track of what you first said, being wise in when to be honesty or when to be silent is what I have learned over the last few years.
I am seeing in myself when I say something honest I feel at peace in who I am, but I really like the thoughts in my head, I like who I am,  so being honest with others brings out what are these messages I carry within myself.......And I honestly see a wonderful world before me!

I had an honest argument recently with a family member of mine, it all ended in peaceful awareness. But in order to get there we had to hash some things out face to face. I was motivated to challenge and to be honest because it was time to deal with our unbalanced friendship. We needed a spring cleaning with each other, I noticed being respectful can be hard while being honest because the truth is often translated through our own individual eyes, also unless someone says "be honest with me." they don't really want you to be honest while arguing or disagreeing with them. I am always in awe of all the things I am constantly learning through being my honest self...... 

I caught something in that heated discussion as we worked out what our relationship should look like to each other, my honesty drove me to be brave and to not let anger burn me up as I tried to gain her respect at the same time.
She said "Honesty is the worse advice, every time I am honest I have to go back and fix things that I said to those who are now upset!" 
I sat there in surprise at how nice it was of her to be that honest with me, and she was exactly right! It was a moment that proved my point in being real, in being honest. 
For my argument was BE HONEST, take ownership of your own thoughts, emotions and words.... Then My husband told me that it is rare to have a nice voice or nice thoughts in ourselves that make being honest good for everyone around us.....
Soooooo that is why there are all these mental games and manipulation of the truth. If we are honest and it hurts those around us then that kind of truth needs to be focused on over what is the messages in our heart and soul? 
What is it about us that makes us attack each other in our honesty? 
To be honest is to be good towards those around you because you are not lying or hiding from them, IF that honesty is rude, hurtful and judging then yes being honest is going to upset those around you quite naturally. The next step of self-awareness is to change that message in yourself to not work against YOU or others around you, For one day when you are completely honest in the joy and love you carry within your heart and soul then you will see the smiles on the faces of those around as they enjoy and admire your honesty they will sigh with relief saying "Thank God I can sit by you and be safe! your honesty is so refreshing, thank you."  Honesty in it's great beauty is the most magical picture of humanity doing good in every breath, Honesty in it's mirroring reflection of who you are can destroy those around you if you haven't been honest with yourself......

The best choice for me is honesty and it can really hurt at times but I wouldn't hide myself for all the safety in the whole world! and I can honestly say that!

Life is a learning journey in each of us at our own time,  once we decide to live in favor of ourselves in hopes to give good strength and good times among the everyday rush through life we can honestly see who we are and what we need to work on while accepting ourselves just as we are in this moment of time.

So I was an honest child and it got me into trouble all the time, now I am an honest adult who still gets into trouble for that very same core honesty, yet I like that it keeps me on my toes and teaches me something bigger then before!

Stay strong out there and be honest!

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