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Thursday, June 19, 2014

Life in Celebration

          There is such amazing magic of getting to be apart of it all, this thing called LIFE!
         In death we loose, we cry and we are forced to say goodbye......such pain becomes apart of the joy in living.
 And I am grateful for every single second of my breathing, for every single chore in every single day. 
At night I look to the moonlit hazy sky above with such a wish in my heart for all those I love to know this truly deep joy in being. 
    One day I will be forever gone, so for now I will send my blessings and my best wishes to the night sky and never be afraid to own my life's story and never stop celebrating such life all around me!
        This week has me house sitting in Caldwell once again and I love it, I like to sit back drinking a glass of wine on the high rise patio thinking about all the memories accumulating here. I can't get enough of time inside my head, reflecting with my heart and soul to all I see before me.....
Now that I am older I don't have that restless fear in being all alone in this big house like I use to, oh about 12 years ago was the very first time I house sat and cared for the dogs....It was during that time when Benny came to sleep over and she would laugh at me as I crazily explained how afraid I suddenly was being left there on my own, she told me how safe the street was and how silly I was being but she didn't mind kicking back with movies and ice cream staying on each night with me. 
We had such a good time in our long talks about our futures and our failures. My fear back then was in how I was not understanding how to protect myself from those dark late nights looking out the window, double checking the doors letting my imagination run wild. Now I am not so jumpy, I feel smarter and wiser about what is really going on out there at night. I celebrate my life with such peace of mind....I like to think that maybe Benny could be here now looking over me in this familiar house, I find peace in such an idea and miss her greatly! There is this amazing gratefulness I feel in being alive and being on my own for awhile. Actually I am not alone with 4 dogs and a cat, there are close good neighbors whom I trust completely too. I feel just fine, it's been such a long time that I almost forgot how jumpy and worried I was back then in staying on my own here, even in my first apartment for those first few weeks I slept in my recliner with my broom stick and my phone by me after shedding a few fearful tears for I wasn't ready to be brave yet and I wasn't ready to grow up all alone but what I came to understand in time was how we are never ever alone, there will always be someone to call when you are in trouble or simply just scared. 
I can do so many more things on my own now as I grow older because I have a good strong list of great caring friends who will come instantly if called. I also have been empowered to face my life head on and use all I have learned to keep sharp. 
Life in celebration can not be feared, If my best friend Benny was alive today I would most defiantly ask her to come stay with me but only for one night of girlie movies and fun topics because I am just fine spending time within my own head, cuddling my dogs and reading my book on my own now.....
Life itself is the fairy tale of joy and celebration that the sun rise or the starry sky shouldn't be feared, how funny now to remember when I house sat this place back then I couldn't sleep until Benny got off work bringing me a milkshake saying she has some new gossip to tell me and I would sigh in relief to see her walking up the front door steps on those dark nights when now I walk though this dear house all alone but not lonely.

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