Life of 20 years

We started dating 1999

2002

I married my best friend.

2003

2004

2005

2006

2007

2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2019

2017

THE END

Life in Separating

This is a beautiful song that applies to my life exactly right now.

This divorce is a separation from my best friend that I never saw coming. I never ever worried about this happening before and now here it is.....
We break so hard. We've broken from each other.

This month has been a very powerful for me as everything is different now. I am letting it go now with the words of this song and the beautiful way it plays out.....

Goodbye to my married self. Hello to my individual self. 

Life's Dream

I can always find my home in my dreams.

I can always see my husband's smiling face again in my dreams.

I can always remember what it was like when it was so good, so right with the dream of life.

I can always heal from all of this pain with the help of music, God and the wisdom of my dreams.

Life's Song

It has been a hard month of October in learning how to live without my husband anymore.

I have been grateful to have family support.
I have been feeling so loved by all my friends.

I have also learned that this is just beginning not the end to my life's story.

Life in Good health

It's so important to be healthy. 
I have found that if you eat right you feel right, if you break from food your body can rest a little. 
This is great information to fighting sickness or cancer, being strong and healthy comes from understand the food we eat. 
I am grateful for this nice young man and all his videos about nutrition.  

Life of a sunset

 I truly believe Sunsets should never be missed.

Life in Fall

This country side is magnificent!  I get to walk along such beauty, My mom told me how her father planted that tree and it did so good that now it's huge and strong. I love thinking about my Grandparents as I walk, for I miss them so much! 
Being among such nature while in all of my grief. I am going through a divorce so I am grateful to enjoy such wide open sky and fresh air!
I can find such comfort here.

Life of Oscar

                                                                                                                                                                       

       

My dog Oscar is the very best thing that ever happened to me. I use to think it was marrying Tony but lately I think it was bringing a perfect puppy into our lives.  
  
Being married with Oscar was the very best life we could of created!

I am in awe that I got to live such good times every single day!

I love him so, He always brought a smile to my husband's face too! He is now with my husband as comfort through this divorce and I am glad they have each other.

We did good together in honor of 13 years with Oscar! 

Life is sweet!

 Lakeview fruit stand is my favorite place to shop! Located in Nampa Idaho. The country side drive is wonderful! My Mom and I went this summer quite a few times and it was fun!

Life is sweet when you can get such good jams. jellies and syrups from local produce!

My fall didn't turn out the way I am use to doing harvest and baking. But life is sweet when I remember this past summer of so many delights as these!

Life in Truth

Life in truth, I never knew my marriage could end. I believed in forever after yet now I see the truths.
Life happens to shift and change, marriages live and die the same days. I am aware now.

Life is Cycling

When I use to sing this song from the radio, I didn't realized how important this song will become to me as I learned more about it. Life has a way of coming full circle. 

Life in Humor

I love my humor, It's fun to be clever!
I love all the different personalities in my big family.
I love how good it is to laugh, to joke and to connect to others.
I love this TEDTALK on humor and why our society isn't working like it use to.
I love how humor is helping me right now.
     It's important to laugh whenever you can!

Life in changes

I have so much love to give, so much life to still live!
  It's the journey that teaches us what is important to us in the end.

Life I feel

I have been put into uncomfortable feelings, I have been healing from my experiences. 
I think I feel so much at once at times, I am getting better and noticing where I feel in my body. This isn't the life story I wanted, I always thought Tony and I would be together for all of life. 
Yet now that is not the case, I think what Dr. Joan Rosenberg is explaining all of this perfectly.
I love my feelings, my present moment of gratefulness.

Life I will miss

           

My kitchen was my favorite room in my home so naturally I took pictures last month before my husband shared that he was in a relationship with his co-worker. 
Before my whole world crumbled into pieces. 

Before my kitchen days ended.
This was my whole world for awhile...

     

My fruit trees from my kitchen window was my favorite thing to see every morning and every time I looked out the windows....In the last days I was drinking my coffee all alone a sign now I realize but these windows were my distractions while talking to my pets before starting the new day.....                             I will miss that life. 

Life in the Sun

I didn't want any of this to happen, yet My husband is moving on so I need to remember the earth and the sun will never leave me in such a shocking way.

I truly love this song now as it makes so much more sense to me, I love nature, I deeply love this whole world!

Life in review

From the book The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz

                "Perhaps you never thought about it, but on one level or another all of us are masters. We are masters because we have the power to create...."

My husband Tony and I met every Saturday morning during the years we were dating at the Roasterie coffee house in Caldwell Idaho to study this book together, we had our own copies and each week we read one chapter to come back in discussing and debating it thoroughly. 
We've been married now over 16 years in our tough times we made references back to this book and in our good times we would read out loud to each other a paragraph from this book. I am in awe of this book and always will be.

I will miss my husband, he wants a divorce now.
I don't want it because I love him as my husband and the life we created, we shared. 
So now I will miss all of that and I will move on in time as I heal now. But this book was a great start to our 20 years together. And I will always live my life with LOVE first.

Life in Strength

When I think of my Brother Derek I feel stronger for all I am facing right now in my life.     

My other 3 "baby" brothers have been there for me as I healed from my traumas. They have been wonderful and protective in their great supportive, even my sister Dana has come around in being there for me right now and my heart is full of such awe and such gratefulness!

     

My parents and my siblings are all here for me, I am deeply thankful to be apart of this family! 

When I awake to take on a new day pictures of Derek fill my mind and I grow stronger to face the unknown days ahead. Derek sure lived a great life! I feel inspired by his memories! I feel safe with my parents as I face this divorce that my husband wants.

Life in TV shows

It's not easy to face the fact my life is turning out to be like a favorite show of mine. (Big little lies)

It's not easy, it feels a bit crazy yet a little inspiring at the same time....I would rather watch this show then my own life unfold though.

Life in Dance

From now on I will be better and stronger as I rebuild my home!

Life in the Fairy Gardens

I am grateful I got to garden so much this summer, I got to make my home amazing from the front fairy gardens to the big veggies boxed gardens. 

It was so Beautiful that while doing yoga and stretching I can picture it so clearly and perfectly. 

I am grateful I know how to garden so good, I am always a huge fan of herbs too. Making so many things from the scent of all the herbs makes me smile! 

Life with Enya

When I start to have a panic attack I take a moment to pause and think of music like this.....I use to suffer major panic attacks leading up through this summer to right now that I can control them better. In prayer and in music I am learning how to live again.

Life in Freedom

I would of cared over my husband in our elderly years so happily ever after...
I would of lived anywhere with him.
I would of been the best wife but now I have be the best person for myself now....
I would never want my freedom but here it is nevertheless.

Life on the long road

 

People say to me  "You have a long road ahead of you." and so I start walking more because I agree....

My marriage was going to out last all of time in my mind and in my heart. So Now I redirect that passion for my own pathway on the long road of a new single life!

My dark tunnel battles have now turned into a long country road, and it's beautiful to walk along....

Life on the Tightrope

This movie "The Greatest Showman." has now become my life and while I love every single song in the film. The happy ending isn't what is happening after all....unless I choose happiness then it will be alright after all.

Life after Death

I am on a journey to a new life and I have no idea what that will look like......Yet I have a million dreams and possibilities I never had before so I will keep singing and dancing my way through it all!

Life is a circle

Life in Wonder

I am one of the wonders, God's own creation.

Life in Laughter

I heard laughter as I walked in tears, in thoughts and in sadness I heard laughter and then I stopped to smile at the memory I was having.

   

My sister Dana and my brother Derek were swimming and jumping into the irrigation ditch that now is running passed me as I walk in the wise ol' age of 40 not 14.....

My memories are the golden heart beat and the richness of my very breath!

I would never choose a life without my memories for all the tea in China and for all the fast pace days of today's modern world. 

Give me the dirt and the sky as I learned to live again.

Life in laughter that is what I am and what I carry within me through all things.

Life in Code

Life of Youth