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Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Watershed : Indigo Girls

It's been a busy day with my mother, helping her in all the little things she needs done around her home and going Christmas shopping in the BEAUTIFUL sunny warm fall day.

The drive down those  long country roads to town was lovely this afternoon.  
Mom and I happily chit chatted about her Christmas list of who to buy gifts for. 
The store was peaceful, wide open with sale signs every where as She stated  "I can't be rushed, I need to look at everything very carefully, because if it snows you won't be coming back out again for a long time." I chuckled and nodded adding to our overflowing cart. I was noticing her idea of a good price isn't common anymore, how strange to be reminded that time doesn't stand still for even a fall sweater or soft hoody as the cost grows over the years, my mom reminds me when it once cost less in her prime. And I am lost thinking of how the whole system of shopping is changing in our culture altogether. 

My mother comes from a different time in history then I do, she gets stuck in her idea of how old her kids or grand kids are sometimes and I have to remind her that some things wouldn't make a good gift anymore... it's made clear to me as I stroll her along down the rows of stuff in the stores over these last 5 years that she gets stuck in time. 
Yet no matter the years now whenever she sees a clearance sign she is excited to reach it and we squeeze into places her wheel chair allows us to go....I read everything to her and she decides what to buy as I never ever tell her no, instead I talk honestly that I personally wouldn't pay that much for the item if I were her and she usually comes to her own conclusions, so far I haven't gotten into a problem where the cost is crazy high and item she wants completely far. 

It takes constant conversation and reasoning with her in shopping, I am always wiped out, grateful for our time together but very wiped out nevertheless. 

Tonight I'm a bit more emotional, a bit more wiped out then usual.....maybe it's the reminder that time doesn't stand still, not ever.

Maybe it's seeing my mother struggle so much that has me tearful tonight as the sunset was clear, as I drove home, as I was lost in my thoughts of all these things in the future that leaves us a bit confused in the end. I just felt deeply sad in how fast everything can change in our lives......

I wish time could actually hold still once in awhile.
and most importantly I wish my mother never had this stroke.
I wish, I wish,

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