It's not easy to get up when it is dark and cold outside, at least for me it is not easy. I was thinking for a dog, for a dog whose owner had knee surgery and can't walk I can get up, up, up into the Boise foothills before dawn.....then I did it, drank my 2 cups of black coffee ate my yogurt and mixed nuts on the go swinging out the door of my deeply asleep home to meet my friend at her lovely home in the quiet neighborhood off of warm springs. She clearly loves her dogs and wants the best for them even at a time of healing her leg. I had no problem happily helping her out and over 2 hours flew by under such a magical morning fall sky! THIS is the change of the earth and shift into fall after all the crazy busy days of summer leave me strong and healthy! I welcomed in the Equinox this week with magic every where around me! With Arrow my new friend, a dog of great strength and beauty in his wise 9 years of good training and total trust in humans. I saw something so mystical that morning high up the hillside as he ran all over coming by to lick and snuggle me a moment then shooting off again to be completely free as all dogs should live in such safety if I had my say in our society! I breathed in the cool air of the city before like a landscape painting it was out there but I was not there in it....I was safely, peacefully and happily tucked away from all noise and all sound to where the trails took me and I loved it all! Arrow ran until he was completely wiped out and walked again beside on the leash into his neighborhood for his breakfast awaited him and he KNEW that! Life is as captivating at sunrise as at sunset along with our appreciation to touch the sky!
It was almost a year ago now that my elderly neighbor Bernice and I got into some biblical discussion that turned into a fun weekly bible study with her Jehovah witness niece Melody. The 3 of us meet up every week to study the bible together and I have been having so much fun recapping the way I was raised and the way they believe. Our talks and our discussions address questions that come up and help us think about spiritual things with 3 different generations to contribute. I love those ladies as heartfelt honesty women that they are and as my friends! How good it is to see them week to week, to listen and to help or to share our concerns and our life stories. Bernice and Melody really believe in the hopes and faith of their organization and in the structure of faith for their daily lives so I admire their classy kindness and their openness about what is sacred to them. I find myself learning something new every week, I like making the connections from all I have ever read or learned about God and about the Goddess to be captured in a beautiful story of one day finding Utopia and that Garden of Eden again here on Earth. All stories of faith have levels of impossible events, or unbelievable magic preformed from the higher power above us........yet Jehovah sounds like a beautiful name for that vase endless power and endless caring over the struggling lives after greed consumed the earth and unbalancing the perfect balance God had first hoped for when creating humans. I am not sure if creation was accurately captured in the bible since the bible was used as a political weapon and master plan to manipulate entire communities and societies to fear "God" by distracting them from being abuse and used by their rulers. So I will never take the bible for actual fact, I have seen way to much of it in my childhood be used for bad. I have seen how every story we share can have layers of truths and life lessons yet can also be made colorful from our own personal twists and turns added to it. All of life is magical because it is so mysterious! All of this earth's beauty can come back to full wonder down the road one day if we lived grateful to God and if we lived in harmony with each other too. The Jehovah Witnesses study the scriptures to promise perfection and peace when all is made right again here on earth. It's a happy thought to me, it's an idea I think could come true if we all wanted to share and give, if we all said no to greed or selfishness.....but as I listen to these ladies older then me I think about all these layers to our humanity, to our personal soul. They have bravely lived in a world full of chaos and craziness simply choosing to calm their focus on Jehovah. To have faith and believe things will get better, to see how important society is in working together when we abide with care and kindness. These ladies never pray out loud over me in some desperate way to "Save" me instead we talk and laugh and share all our questions and wonders of who is God and what is our purpose here on earth.....I already have an idea for myself but it is so wonderful to meet over study guides and questions out lines in order to dig down deeper about what I think or what I want to know more about! ALL of life is constantly moving and constantly learning, in order to survive and safely live another day we come together in helpful support, in trusted socializing ways and this is what I LOVE about getting older. Bernice makes being 86 look so effortless as she happily reads out loud about the treasures of her faith. I listen to her and her niece share a bond, a joy and a love that is soothing for the soul. I said one afternoon as we pause to chat a moment about the way Jesus had talked so naturally and respectfully to the woman at the well in the bible story that was back in a time when men didn't consider women to worthy of such interaction, "He knew that talking to the lady would break tradition and give her the power to stand up for herself, sometimes all it takes for a revaluation is to know you are not alone in not liking the system of society......and women liking each other, supporting each other and standing together is THE biggest change to this whole world. Men will be surprise once we stop competing with each other, stop trying to look a certain way or trying be better then each other....for when we come together in harmony the whole world is changed!"
"will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?" It's a heart stopping song, it's so powerful and beautiful! It's captivating in every single word as the music builds up towards this blast of sound and this blast of emotion in which every time I heard it my heart stops and I think it's perfect!
It's a very real song to me....maybe because it speaks to fact we all loose our youth and our idea of how we should look....This song "Young and Beautiful" by Lana del rey that I first heard in the remake of the movie "The Great Gatsby" had me crying soft silent tears while watching it's great beauty in the theater alone, the message that we can be mistaken in love or in trusting the wrong person is so truly powerful it speaks to the very heart and soul of all of us in never wanting to be abandon or betrayed. The raw truth that we can never stay young, that we can never keep our smooth skin as the years bring added wrinkles...some people fight it and some people hide it but I can not wait for gray hair and wrinkles because I love getting older and wiser feeling more depth to myself and wondering how did I know to ask my husband if he would still love me when I am no longer beautiful before we got married? Because it's a very important question in this magical song as she sings about finding a lover who will not leave her once her beauty is gone. I have never wanted to be loved for my looks, nor would I ever depend on them for gaining some kind of security for my future....These years in my 30's will be like a blink of the eye as I delight in growing older for my soul and for my new adventures! I happily married my husband because being in love and in a good friendship was far more important to me then our outward beauty. To be brave enough to ask these questions in the beginning of meeting your lover will help guide the pathway through the ever changing years ahead. Nothing is forever except for LOVE and when you can love who you are in all the ages of your life then finding those who you can trust becomes easier. When we ask this very important question we can learn to not waste our time with the wrong sort, with those who only see our outward appearances. And if we pay attention to the fact that as we grow old our ideas of what is beautiful grows with us......our light, our soul being shines from with in even unto our very end.
