My husband, HE was my home.
The years of a shared life had moments of great delight. When he would panic or freak out over something I would be calm and encouraging then when I would freak out he would take charge and all was right with the world when we were together, when we were home. The holidays have been so hard this year as the first without my husband, my home.
My everyday life was once so strong and focused because he was there in all the big and little ways we shared our lives.
I truly lived for the evenings he came home from work to tell me all about it and eat together wonderful meals I had cooked up!
(I had hoped his crush on his co-worker was temporary, just a phase he was going through as he came obsessed with his work and talking about her all the time, he was my whole world so I gave him all my trust and credit to be home more with me)
Now I am in transformation.
I have to become at home with just myself since I lost the compass and the love I lived by with him at my side in my everyday life.....
These first holidays without my home are the hardest days I have ever lived through, but I know in the new year there are new possibilities that I am ready for!
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