It's like I live, I learn and then I live, I learn all over again.
It's not going to rest in peace until I do, it's not possible to know all thing. Yet we all desire to, we seek knowledge like a hungry, thirsty survivor in the desert. We long to understand deeply and to arrive in life to that perfect place in time. I have had so many profound moments, often side by side with a Coldplay song of course, I think it's the never ending story we all share until it ends.
I am not as confident as I was when I was 20.
I miss so many people back then who are not here anymore.
I wonder what my next 40 years will look like, I am in transition, I am in a story book.
I like being older, because I feel stronger, I feel focused on exactly what I need to do next.
I hope this Holiday season is a bit easier then last year, I still hurt as I carry my memories with me.
Sitting in the top of my Grandpa's cherry tree, I was just 12 years old looking out over the landscape of the snake river wine region with a storm coming over the Owyhee mountains heading over the the valley then up towards me. I could see lightening in those dark clouds as I sat there in the summer afternoon wondering why I couldn't hear the thunder yet....
Yesterday I got to visit with Tiffany's kids at their Dad's wedding, both Abby and Tally have become young women so quickly as Tally is now 12. All of our adventures, all of hanging out together over the years has given me such joy! When we are 12 years old we wonder about everything we see, we try to stay organized, stay in control of how we think our life should be like. Yesterday was very sweet as I admire the last 20 years with these kids in my life!
I wonder what 20 more years will look like, I wonder about the future all the time. I have such an incredible past, such an important history in contributing to the future. I have such a love for all my friends whose children are growing up right now! For they give me such hope and happiness!
I am thankful for the new life and new energy of humanity as we share another great adventure!
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